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02 December 2004 @ 09:30 pm
Does anyone else think of people as looking like their icons?  

I cut this, because it's mothering long.

I bought a shedload of clothes today. I've never been on a shopping binge before, really. Generally, n my way to the bookshop, I suddenly think 'Oh, I need some new runners/jeans/a jacket' and pick the first one I lay hands on. But today, my mother bunged me a bunch of cash and said, 'Would you go buy a few tops and things for yourself, you have nothing to wear when you go out. And NO BOOKS!' (She must be the only mother in the multiverse who has to say that.)

So I got four tops and two skirts, which are indecent, I swear to gods. Matching g-strings, too! (Hey, if snarkophagus can post about his underwear, so can I...) After eighteen years, I'm finally embracing my inner slut. And, once I have a couple of buckets of fake-tan and/or vodka, I'm sure I'll even wear them. In addition, everything I bought seems to be pink; even the denim skirt, I'm sure, will eventually take on pinkish qualities, possibly through osmosis. Oh, and I bought a book too...of course - 'The Reptile Room'.

All this while I was meant to be looking round galleries with the twats from my college, aka Neville, Shane and the Freakazoid Extraordinaire (Andrew). I truly couldn't have taken Neville and Shane's candoodling - they got off in Paddy the Farmer's last week, but Shane doesn't actually fancy her. The hell? And of course, Andrew has some morbid fascination with yours truly. I say 'morbid', because I will end up killing him if he doesn't stop trying to chat me up and pull me with the whole 'I'm quiet and shy and sweet and wholesome' shite. I DO NOT go for shrinking violets. I mean, Tony (who got suspended for starting a striptease at the school fashion show) was the...er...well, let's just say he was the only boy I ever had eyes for (particularly at that moment in time...). To wit: Andrew=Verence, Tony=Greebo - and me? Nanny Ogg...

Speaking of the Prat of the Century, he's another reason why I didn't want to do the Dublin gallery thing with them - I didn't want to ruin the old memories. The last time I went to visit them was November of fifth year...Tony got us chucked out of the National Gallery for sliding across the floor...he wore Sarah's bakerboy cap ALL DAY, making him look like a cross between a rent boy and a Dickens urchin (really, the only adjective that fits Tony is 'dissipated')...Anita crying on his shoulder because of the po' penguins (don't ask)...Tony demanding to tango through at least two shops...and I fell for him. I can actually trace it back to that exact day, although I didn't admit it for at least a year. I didn't WANT to like him.

He's been on my mind a lot lately - mainly due to the desperate paucity of crushable boys in my life right now. Plus, he's always had this niggling effect on me...

Sharon and Mary were lecturing me the other day, because I said - on being questioned, and because I'm always honest (even if I don't always tell the truth) - things like: the only point I could see in having a relationship was for sex, and that I'd choose money over happiness. They said (in the nicest possible way) that I was due a right kick up the arse, which is no doubt approaching me as we speak. (I'm quite aware that I deserve a good bollocking, by the way.)

Sharon is extremely down-to-earth, and is in a settled, sensible, mature relationship which is at the same time all loving and stuff. She's also romantic without being silly with it - quite the achievement. One of her 'things' is that you know you're in love when you'd give up and do anything for the person, just to make them happy. (My question is whether anyone'd be worth it.) Okay, so, yeah, I've felt that (not that I told her, mind)...for one weekend, then I stopped because it was awfully draining, and, yes, pointless!

Then Mary asked me why I'd liked (like) Tony, as opposed to 'not Andrew', or anyone in general. I'm picky - sue me. This is what I told her: he was original, unpredictable, crazy, cruel as hell and most importantly, he never said or did one boring thing. I guess I have a phobia about being bored.

That's the first time I've categorised it outside my own head. And...I suppose, I miss him. Which is stupid, because after he got all 'popular', he had about ten gazillion girlfriends (whom he treated like dirt and got away with it), and he despised me in any case. He certainly isn't missing me, is what I'm trying to say. It's not a heartachey kind of missing...more like, damn, everything was left so unfinished. I never got to bitch-slap him, or tell him what an utter arse he is, or...er, do anything else I really, really wanted to do.

Of course, that's life, isn't it? It's not cut and dried, like in a film or a book. You drift on, and regret things - not things that should have been better, or different - but things that should have been more cut and dried.

...Because I might've actually loved him, and now I'll never know.

 
 
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: 'Silent Sigh', Badly Drawn Boy
 
 
 
gabbysun on December 2nd, 2004 02:20 pm (UTC)
. . . xD. Yes.
When I saw the name of the cut, I'm all like, that's me. (The "love of life", not the "underwear".)

She must be the only mother in the multiverse who has to say that.

Psh. Psh. Psh. xD

But you know how I think you should solve your problems? I think that you should one day find this dude, go up to him, and bitch-slap the heck out of him. And then you can walk away satisfied. After all, you are only eighteen, and you've practically got your entire life to come.

And maybe one day you will find your own Zaphod Beeblebrox boredom-hating rich guy, and go bungee-jumping together every weekend.

:D
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 2nd, 2004 02:49 pm (UTC)
Re: . . . xD. Yes.
xD.

Well, I think maybe your mother and mine can start a little club...

I intend to...one day. I mean, we're at college in the same city. It's so irritating, to have him so near and yet I never see him! Urk, even NOW he can annoy the heck out of me. And true, hopefully one day SOON someone else'll come along...

You love Zaphod? I think Arthur and - er, the girl? - are like the sweetest canon ship EVER. And I hope you are psychic, that sounds IDEAL. ;)
gabbysun on December 2nd, 2004 02:56 pm (UTC)
Re: . . . xD. Yes.
Geez, that would be . . . scarifying. Imagine the combined forces of motherdom bearing down on us poor, innocent booklovers. :(

xD IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

Not really. But I just finished reading Mr Adam's books again, so when I felt that a rich, boredom-hating guy was what you needed, he was the first one that popped into my mind. ;D

And dude, Arthur and Fenchurch were lovely. I was devastated during Mostly Harmless, which was my least favorite book of the series less because of the ending than the fact that it just didn't seem right. :(
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 3rd, 2004 07:25 am (UTC)
Re: . . . xD. Yes.
A Tip: to devastate is a verb that cannot be used on humans, because it's too big; only applicable to, like a town. You have to use disappointed or whatever...sorry to be pedantic, but no one seems to realise this and they never listen when I tell them...*pouts*

Ah, MH is the last book? Yep. I thought it was WEIRD!! They go back and...get blown up again?! And he never sees Fenchurch again? So, so mean...maybe if Adams'd lived he'd have written it differently, and better. I mean, everyone from Pterry down owes him a great debt, but his writing is rather disjointed.
gabbysun on December 3rd, 2004 03:37 pm (UTC)
Re: . . . xD. Yes.
NOOOOO . . . *clutches word to chest* I think I will choose to cleave by m-w.com:
to reduce to chaos, disorder, or helplessness : OVERWHELM

Ah? . . . xD I love that word so much.


Yes, I know! :( It is not as good as his other ones, I think.
Caitcoralia13 on December 2nd, 2004 05:58 pm (UTC)
I do that!!!! I picture people as their icons, if their icons are of people!!!! That is why I want to go back to the old icon; because now I see her as a Slytherin Sue! And it is also why my icon is actually me. I couldn't take being someone else.

There is a girl named Neville?

I think I have someone a little like your Tony, but I don't know if mine was as intense - although it certainly seemed so at the time. His name is Alex, and he went to my high school, and I adored him from the day I met him, freshman year, and never really stopped. He was good-looking, and funny, and smart, and interesting, and flirty, and English . And never ever interested in me. Sadly, I never figured out how to counter his charms, or my stupidity, so I can offer you no help in this area. I don't know what you do to move on. I DO know that you cannot make youself like someone, so your friends should realize that this Andrew really is a non-option, just because he is.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 3rd, 2004 07:50 am (UTC)
Yup, so I'm TOTALLY a little blue rat. Which pleases me strangely. Or a dancing cat, which is also good. (What's weird though, is fate_envies_us - I keep thinking she's Jonathan Rhys Meyers - and that mortifyd is Alan Rickman.)

No, her real name is Ailish. But I call her Neville after N Longbottom; she is like him in so many ways (and none of them complimentary). She doesn't know it, naturally, but it caught on like wildfire...I'm not the only HP fan(atic) in my class and I wasn't alone in seeing the many parallels...xD.

Yeah...Tony was bright, but he wasted it, and his flirting was quite ABRASIVE, not to mention often life-threatening. *shrugs* Advice isn't much use in any case as a) I shall never see him again and b) I've never talked to him; we just had rolling arguments (which seemed to greatly amuse my geography teacher, who'd say things like 'Oh, it must be love' which, in the circumstances, was not exactly kind of her.)

*shudders* I wouldn't make myself like Andrew even if I could...he doesn't wear his glasses to impress me or something...I don't know why he would think squinting is attractive, or that I would respect that, seeing as I wear them myself! (Oh, I don't have a thing against guys with glasses, at all...er...guess who had them too.)
Caitcoralia13 on December 3rd, 2004 08:54 am (UTC)
Well, happily, I don't have that icon-confusion problem unless the photo is of a real person, or, at least, a person-like face. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN about Alan Rickman and Jonathan Rhys Meyers! I'm reading their comment, and I'm like, I must become friends with Jonathan Rhys Meyers! And it's always a little disappointing when I come back down to earth.

(sigh) Boys. (BIG sigh) What can I say?
The Light Snarktastic: Sucksnarkophagus on December 2nd, 2004 09:56 pm (UTC)
When I saw the name of the cut, I'm all like, that's me. (The "underwear, not the "love of life.")

I just had to steal it. There really was no other way to open a comment. Forgiveness from gabbysun, please. :)

...Because I might've actually loved him, and now I'll never know.

I say balls to him. My completely unsolicited (forgive me for that) and probably overly cynical view is that if he didn't give you the chance to find out, he doesn't deserve you finding out. If that makes any sense at all.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 3rd, 2004 07:54 am (UTC)
That was sheer brilliance...of course, it's you, I expect no less xD.

You are supremely correct...I suppose, as a silly girly, I just wish we both could have been a bit more mature about it, because he really couldn't have been THAT MUCH of a bastard to me (which he was, but I shan't go into that nonsense) if he hadn't felt...something. Then it could have been really exciting...probably.

Or maybe, like Ridcully and Granny Weatherwax, we died in a fire after we got married. *shrugs*

I guess it's hard to say bollocks to you if what you really want to say is 'take me NOW for fuck's sake you blithering idiot'. Or a variation thereof. But you ARE right, and I will endeavour to follow that advice, and end this comment, because I can ramble on for hours about him and it's bad for me. xD
amazing vaguely humanoid armadillopersoncryptid on December 3rd, 2004 01:55 am (UTC)
I think my mother would prefer it if I stopped buying stuff altogether. I am peacock, pack rat and book worm all wrapped up in one package, and I love a good thrift shop (mm, affordable and relatively non-destructive shopping sprees). I can hardly walk through my room for the piles of books and heaps of clothes. It's hell to try to clean up in there.

Loose threads like that are quite annoying... it can be hard to just leave it as it is and concentrate on some other thread. I had a couple of crazy-boy crushes back in school. Ah, the memories. (Of course I was too shy and socially inept to do anything but swoon and stalk them from a distance, but still.) Even today I would probably choose someone callous but entertaining over someone sweet but boring. *shrug* Still, in general I think that my RL crushes have been better choices than my fictional ones. I always seem to fall for the most cantankerous bastard or bitch in the whole imaginary universe. :D

And regarding the subject line: Yes, unless I have a good mental picture of what someone looks like, I always have to remind myself that 'No, she probably isn't an actual snickering skeletal rat.' (I wonder how many people subconsciously think that I'm an undead armadillo? Not that I mind if they do. Undead armadillos are teh r0xx0rz. :P )
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 3rd, 2004 07:59 am (UTC)
Thrift shops in Ireland are sadly undeveloped, otherwise I would shop there. Oh, and my bookshelves are two-deep in books and I still can't fit them all in...

Yeah, they SO ARE. Life's unfair like that, although I'll say this for myself - I used to be FAR worse, and at least this is a form of catharsis. Yes, sweet IS boring...I need to be challenged, I think. Confidence is SOOO attractive. And me? The Malfoy love? Yes, cantankerousness + hawtness = OTP.

I quite like being thought of as that, which is why I rarely change my icon. People like to squee over it too, and who I am to deprive them? Actually, in my mind, you are a strange amalgamation of a kitten and an armadillo...a fluffy armadillo, I think...>.
amazing vaguely humanoid armadilloperson: devilcryptid on December 4th, 2004 12:44 pm (UTC)

Not much of a Malfoy fan myself, although I can't really argue with the Supreme Power of Jason Isaacs. But he's not canon, so I'm trying my best to ignore it. :P
Hawtness is nice enough, but not always necessary for me to get enamoured (says she who has a, shall we call it a thing, for Sandor Clegane. Of all nasty icky bastards. Yeah, I don't get it either). Snape, Galadan, Sephiroth, Achren, the Marquis de Carabas, movie!Gríma Wormtongue, Mystique... if their loyalties are under suspicion, my interest is piqued. If they also are intelligent, ambitious, arrogant and, above all, stylish, I'm more likely than not to be head over heels.It's probably a good thing that none of these people are real. *wistful sigh* ;P

A fluffy armadillo? Sweet. I hope it's a pink fairy armadillo or something equally silly. How could you not love an animal with a name like that? XD
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 4th, 2004 01:35 pm (UTC)
The thing is, I couldn't imagine bringing most literary characters out of their context enough to fancy them. I mean, take away their surroundings and intrigues and that, and all they are is just another bunch of people. The only thing that makes most characters interesting is the fact that someone wrote about them...

Although in a multiverse of endless possiblities, everything we imagine has to exist somewhere, so you never know...Wormtongue might end up asking you out on some planet light-years away!

Now I have a fluffy pink armadillo image stuck in my head. ... It's rather nice.

Oh, and massively cool icon!!
amazing vaguely humanoid armadillopersoncryptid on December 4th, 2004 02:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, I don't try to bring them out of their context. The Wolf Lord in Piteå? The very idea is laughable. Even the Marquis and Mystique, who do exist in alternative versions of this world, are utterly incompatible with my northern small-town boredom. But I do find it quite possible to fancy them right where they are. There's always some possibility of sneaking in and living vicariously...

... I'm just bloody grateful that ff.net didn't exist when I was twelveish. I wouldn't be able to live with the shame. >.<

I was far too intrigued by the cover of this book to not iconise it. His expression is just priceless. ^_^
Lord Marmaduke Newbrycatsmeat on December 20th, 2004 05:13 pm (UTC)
Holy moses, I love you like I love steak.

You cut! Without prompting! Whee!
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 21st, 2004 02:21 pm (UTC)
'Fraid I cannot return the compliment. Steak is teh yuck pour moi.

I take it you've had trouble with this in the past?
Lord Marmaduke Newbrycatsmeat on December 22nd, 2004 03:21 am (UTC)
Gods, yes. Most of the little fuckers on my friends list have a less than close relationship with paragraphs or the cutting thing.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 22nd, 2004 05:48 am (UTC)
I try my best. Sometimes the paragraphs run away with me. But I know what you mean, because when it reaches over five inches, they should reach for the cut. Really, now.