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06 May 2009 @ 10:20 pm
thou hangest the canary bird  
One exam down, six to go. Wheeeeeeeee! Who wouldn't want to be a med student, huh?

I really do hope they provide some lube with the gynae models in the OSCE. We went up to the mat today to practice taking smears and JFC, my fingers kept getting stuck. This is not a happy place for me. (The model didn't mind, but then it doesn't have legs or a head or a functioning nervous system, so.) And also, it is way hard to keep your thumb down to keep from hitting off the imaginary clitoris. But, it could be worse. A guy in my class took an inadvertent biopsy when he was practising speculums. And by 'inadvertent' I mean 'closed the speculum on the vaginal lining and ripped it out.' Isn't that nice?

I've also had to prepare essays for my forensics exam - I will be very happy on the day I no longer have to learn off essays, WTF, as it is the dumbest way of learning ever invented. All the stories about abandoned babies make me sad. Sure, there's the picture of the woman whose brains are spread around the room or those fun ones from being attacked with an axe, but those otherwise perfect dead babies curled up in leaves just make me want to write stories where Panic finds and adopts them all. I know sunsetmog, among others, has Panic baby!fic covered, but I need therapy, okay?

I was also going to tell y'all the story of the little boy in the box, but I think I've traumatised everyone enough for today.
 
 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: karma police // radiohead
 
 
 
not just posh nosh!yellsurprise on May 6th, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC)
closed the speculum on the vaginal lining and ripped it out

I have no idea what that means, but- oww. I think my vag just :O faced.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Cupcakes: pink with tiny cherriesscoradh on May 6th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
YOURS, MINE AND EVERYONE'S. :D

It's basically a ... thingy we used to look at the cervix and take samples from it to check for cervical cancer. Every girl is supposed to have it if they're sexually active/over 25.
(no subject) - serenia on May 7th, 2009 02:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - yellsurprise on May 7th, 2009 02:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
girl; obsessed: bandom - blue!brendoncomplications_g on May 6th, 2009 09:39 pm (UTC)
I love your med school stories, they provide me with endless amusement. ;) I don't think I've ever even thought about what doctors in training have to do.

There could never be enough baby!fic, ok. :D

every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Fashion: cigarette smokescoradh on May 6th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
Doctors in training AND REAL DOCTORS. :/ Once I had to sit in surgery with my hand up a girl's vagina while they stuck the camera probes in her belly. It was a 'wow, so, definitely NOT a lesbian' moment, lol.

And there are so many things I should record ... like the registrar who, when he was only in second year, used to park his car on double yellow lines with 'doctor on call' in the window. Um.

THOSE POOR, POOR BBS. WHY WOULD THE MOMMIES NOT LEAVE THEM SOMEWHERE THEY COULD BE FOUND. DDD:
(no subject) - complications_g on May 6th, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 6th, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - complications_g on May 6th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 6th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - complications_g on May 6th, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - uminohikari on May 8th, 2009 10:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kessie on May 6th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
and that was the beginning of fairies: Perplexednyx_nox on May 6th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
'closed the speculum on the vaginal lining and ripped it out.' D:
Don't mind me, just crossing my legs for the rest of my life!

Babies ): I never ever want one, but I still can't understand not making sure they'd be safe *sadfaces forever*
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: statuescoradh on May 6th, 2009 10:09 pm (UTC)
It would be quite hard to do that on not-plastic, though. Really!

Me too! I am getting more serious about the idea of fostering as I get older.
Margravine Palavar: you a ladymargravine on May 6th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC)
That is one scary speculum story. I really hope that lesson in gyno-safety stays with him forever and ever because gaaaahhh!!

I can't think of many things more depressing than sitting down for a nice study session about dead babies. I just saw a news story this morning about some abusive asshole who threw his girlfriend's baby out of a moving car on the highway. So incomprehensibly awful, and yet so not surprising that it happened in Florida. Florida is a very dystopian place despite all that tropical weather and citrus fruit.


every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: Twins playing keyboardscoradh on May 6th, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC)
He looks like he's going to go somewhere women will never be involved, don't worry. He's that Sort.

OH GOD WHY. D: For some reason it's worse with babies, even more so than little kids. The older you get the more you've had of life, you had a bit of a go at it, you know? But babies! People are at their cutest at that point. akdfhslkdh now Panic needs to be superheroes who can fly and save babies from assholes.

Yeah, like the flipside of LA, I bet?
(no subject) - margravine on May 10th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Riakessie on May 6th, 2009 10:17 pm (UTC)
guy in my class took an inadvertent biopsy when he was practising speculums. And by 'inadvertent' I mean 'closed the speculum on the vaginal lining and ripped it out.' Isn't that nice?

Owwwwwww. *crosses legs tightly* D: D: D:

Edit: Also, christ, the babies. :(

Edited at 2009-05-06 10:21 pm (UTC)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: singingscoradh on May 6th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
And we have never let him forget it. ;D

I KNOW. They look like they are asleep. It makes me woeface. Bad.
moocowmisconstrue on May 6th, 2009 11:12 pm (UTC)
A guy in my class took an inadvertent biopsy when he was practising speculums. And by 'inadvertent' I mean 'closed the speculum on the vaginal lining and ripped it out.' Isn't that nice?

*winces, a lot* please tell me he doesn't want to be an ob/gyn or at the very least that this is stage one of many, many stages of practice wherein he gets better at it.

and yeah, thanks for sparing us the boy in the box. :((((
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Bands PATD dorks in lovescoradh on May 7th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
No, I think he wants to do cardio or something incomprehensibly difficult like that. ;D NO VAGINAS HERE.

It was extremely horrible. Just so you know.
no detectable ambition: lemoncmonkatiekatie on May 6th, 2009 11:38 pm (UTC)
There is so much horrifying in here. I am intrigued and also repulsed!

um, I should clarify that I'm mainly talking about the first part, because dead babies make me sad. :(

Edited at 2009-05-06 11:39 pm (UTC)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: white dressscoradh on May 7th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
lol, I think I would have extrapolated that. Poor bbs. :/
Sereniaserenia on May 7th, 2009 02:17 am (UTC)
Owww! I broke a resuscitation dummy's lungs doing CPR, but your classmate takes the cake. And manual internal examinations - one thing I want to say to all the doctors who've ever done one on me: MIND YOUR BLOODY KNUCKLES!

I wish I could live in happy la-la land where nobody ever hurt babies or cats. I'd be a lot less homicidal.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Audrey Hepburnscoradh on May 7th, 2009 04:24 pm (UTC)
Ooh, good tip, but how do you mean? Like keep your fingers straight? It's actually quite hard...

ME TOO. OR BABY CATS. D:
(no subject) - serenia on May 7th, 2009 09:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Merit: BPanicmeritjubet on May 7th, 2009 07:19 am (UTC)
*crosses legs carefully* Your stories make me want to never have to go to a doctor ever again. Oh well.

Yay, six to go! (I just glare at people when they say they have *three* exams).

Panic makes the most adorable bbs. And toddlers. :DD
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Fooish: yellow doughnutscoradh on May 7th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
To be fair, most doctors don't do vag exams. You're safe!

I KNOW RIGHT.

Panic makes adorable everything! Even highlighter pens! (I swear - think about it, Jon the green pen that no one wants to use, Brendon the pink one, Spencer the yellow who cheers Jon up by mixing to make orange, Ryan the ~edgy blue one...)
oh, this is my invisible marmosetsunsetmog on May 7th, 2009 08:27 am (UTC)
Panic with babies make me happy, as you well know. Although baby fic has never been my thing. WHERE DID ALL THAT COME FROM?? IDK. I blame Panic.

It feels really weird talking about dead babies and baby fic in the same comment, but oh. Those poor babies.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: maskscoradh on May 7th, 2009 04:26 pm (UTC)
I once wrote a story where Harry finds a baby. I'm so tempted to do a search-replace with Brendon - or Spencer! Or, or Jon with a bb. (Not Ryan. That just ... doesn't work. He'd probably break it.) - and make myself feel better with 0 effort.

In my head Brendon SAVES THEM ALL, okay.
high and mighty mansplaining robotrimestock on May 7th, 2009 03:01 pm (UTC)
This entry makes my genitalia hurt. :(
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: Pretty facescoradh on May 7th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
lol, SORRY! :D
Eli/Ellie/ellie_nor: meellie_nor on May 8th, 2009 08:06 am (UTC)
D-:

I just crossed my legs really, really hard. Doctors do have to get it right - repeatedly - before they're let our on actual women, right? Right?
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Comic: dedscoradh on May 8th, 2009 09:30 am (UTC)
Oh, sure. I guess? I mean, only gynaes would do it regularly, and that's why there's a whole room of models in the mat. I doubt regular joe physicians would go around sticking their fingers up vags. At least, I don't intend to!
(no subject) - ellie_nor on May 8th, 2009 10:27 am (UTC) (Expand)