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16 January 2005 @ 08:44 pm
One day I swear I will marry AA Gill  

A rather pointless post this will be, unless you are in the mood for reading H/D fanfic by yours truly. I say this to ensure that those who aren't that - shall we say - philanthropic? - don't waste their time reading on.

But for those who do, I must share the fact that

a) I realised Ficalley sorts fics in alphabetical order, and this epiphany has brought great joy into an otherwise greatly confused life; and

b) along with my homie cynicalpirate, I am going to be trying my hand at the </span>big_bang_hd (which I have finally realised is a double entendre. Or at least, I think so. It may just be a single entendre, this is Harry and Draco we're talking about). It will be the single most terrifying thing I've attempted in the fandom, so I'm glad cynicalpirate is going to be doing all the hard stuff (like, eg, emotional analysis. Because she does it proper. Harharhar).

Title: Open Season

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Disclaimer: If you don't know this is all stolen from JK Rowling, what stone have you been hiding under?

Summary:  Disaster lies in wait for the unsuspecting. Harry encounters a series of confusing events which lead him to one person: Draco Malfoy. Unfortunately, Draco is as befuddled as he is...featuring a cast of thousands who are all in the know, and two boys who most emphatically are not.

http://www.astronomytower.org/authors/alvira/OS.html

No, I can't get rid of the double spacing/do links right. And the only reason I don't post outright is that lj won't accept it if it's longer than 10 pages in Word. Sad but true.

 
 
Current Mood: lovedloved
Current Music: 'Nothing On But The Radio', the Alice Band
 
 
 
Insufferable, man.: bridecynicalpirate on January 16th, 2005 01:03 pm (UTC)
I'm glad cynicalpirate is going to be doing all the hard stuff

*laughs hysterically*

Dear God, you were serious.

*trots off to read Open Season*
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 16th, 2005 01:09 pm (UTC)
Well, you are better at it. And you probably don't think it's hard, or you wouldn't be writing it for the fun of it!

You don't have to. It really is H/D at its most banal; but Ficalley is so pretty...

And there are no pants. I comfort myself with this.
Minnowminnow_53 on January 17th, 2005 07:06 am (UTC)
Okay, I am incognito. Ireadthefic. IhateH/D. But I enjoyed this variation. Especially the pudding. *hides in a nearby bunker*
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 17th, 2005 08:50 am (UTC)
I suppose, if you squinted, they could be R/S...

...or again, not.
Insufferable, man.: bridecynicalpirate on January 17th, 2005 10:11 am (UTC)
Psst! We have to convert Minnow.

Well, not CONVERT convert, so she stops writing all the lovely S/R, but kind of... demi-convert. Yes?

And don't squint. It's bad for your eyes.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 17th, 2005 10:16 am (UTC)
Yes. I think she should be made to see the potential, as many have done before her; perhaps to spam her with Underwater Light?

I squint all the time; if I didn't I wouldn't see anything. But crowsfeet are teh attractive.
gabbysun on January 17th, 2005 01:14 pm (UTC)
Who is this AA Gill?
FIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111one! *POUNCE*

1. It was nothing to be worried about - it was her default expression and one which she blamed on the perpetual chaos that was the world in general and house-elf oppression in particular.

OH, SO TRUE. xD

2. At worst, Voldemort had somehow infiltrated her mind and was using her as a weapon against him...to distract him with completely unintelligible comments and make his life not worth living by depriving him of pudding by all the wiles evil could possess.

*giggle* I loved the entire exchange ahead of this, incidentally.

3. Harry took advantage of the distraction to gulp down several mouthfuls of gooey chocolate, nearly choking himself in the process and by consequence saving Voldemort of a lot of trouble on his behalf.

xDD

4. 'Was it about YouKnowMort?'

OMG xD I COULD SO SEE HIM SAYING THIS.

5. When he caught Hermione's eye, she grinned delightedly, and tapped the side of her nose.

*giggles and is reminded inexplicable of DISCWORLD*

6. The girls seemed poised to follow him, before Ron heroically threw himself forward to block their route to Harry's escape, and as a minor consequence ended up mouth to mouth with Hermione, which proved to be quite the effective diversion.

*g*

7. 'What's wrong with you, Malfoy? Did you look in the mirror again? You know it's dangerous, the way they shatter when you do that.'

SNAP.

8. 'Professor Dumbledore,' Harry said hesitantly, because Dumbledore was regarding him with an expression usually reserved for new-born kittens or Chinese first-born sons, and he hated to burst his bubble, 'but what exactly are we discussing here? Is it to do with Voldemort?'

THIS IS GETTING PRECIOUS.

9. 'I don't know about again...oh gods, please don't hit on me. Won't someone think of the child - the Ron?'

xD

10. 'Well, not my sister, as she is pure and untouchable - stop snorting Seamus, you are gay - possibly a Patil. That would be okay. I could scan that.'

*g* Love the way he says this.

11. 'I may be in line for inheriting the Mantle of the Darkness That Does Not Sleep, or whatever, but I'm not that sick and twisted.'

POOR MALFOY. xD

12. A bright pink arrow was emblazoned with the words 'Biotches sleep ere'. Another, in blue, marked the way to the 'Pissoir'. A tremendous bill-board sized can-can dancer flexed her flashing green leg over a sign proclaiming to be the entrance to the 'Head Wanker's Room'.

OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. xDDDDDDDDDD

13. 'Yo, dudes. Me and Potter here - we so not getting' jiggy with it. You copy?' Draco said briefly.

OMG. OMG. OMG. <3

14. FIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111one! *POUNCE*

1. It was nothing to be worried about - it was her default expression and one which she blamed on the perpetual chaos that was the world in general and house-elf oppression in particular.

OH, SO TRUE. xD

2. At worst, Voldemort had somehow infiltrated her mind and was using her as a weapon against him...to distract him with completely unintelligible comments and make his life not worth living by depriving him of pudding by all the wiles evil could possess.

*giggle* I loved the entire exchange ahead of this, incidentally.

3. Harry took advantage of the distraction to gulp down several mouthfuls of gooey chocolate, nearly choking himself in the process and by consequence saving Voldemort of a lot of trouble on his behalf.

xDD

4. 'Was it about YouKnowMort?'

OMG xD I COULD SO SEE HIM SAYING THIS.

5. When he caught Hermione's eye, she grinned delightedly, and tapped the side of her nose.

*giggles and is reminded inexplicable of DISCWORLD*

6. The girls seemed poised to follow him, before Ron heroically threw himself forward to block their route to Harry's escape, and as a minor consequence ended up mouth to mouth with Hermione, which proved to be quite the effective diversion.
gabbysun on January 17th, 2005 01:15 pm (UTC)
LJ HATES ME AND MY REVIEW.

*g*

7. 'What's wrong with you, Malfoy? Did you look in the mirror again? You know it's dangerous, the way they shatter when you do that.'

SNAP.

8. 'Professor Dumbledore,' Harry said hesitantly, because Dumbledore was regarding him with an expression usually reserved for new-born kittens or Chinese first-born sons, and he hated to burst his bubble, 'but what exactly are we discussing here? Is it to do with Voldemort?'

THIS IS GETTING PRECIOUS.

9. 'I don't know about again...oh gods, please don't hit on me. Won't someone think of the child - the Ron?'

xD

10. 'Well, not my sister, as she is pure and untouchable - stop snorting Seamus, you are gay - possibly a Patil. That would be okay. I could scan that.'

*g* Love the way he says this.

11. 'I may be in line for inheriting the Mantle of the Darkness That Does Not Sleep, or whatever, but I'm not that sick and twisted.'

POOR MALFOY. xD

12. A bright pink arrow was emblazoned with the words 'Biotches sleep ere'. Another, in blue, marked the way to the 'Pissoir'. A tremendous bill-board sized can-can dancer flexed her flashing green leg over a sign proclaiming to be the entrance to the 'Head Wanker's Room'.

OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. xDDDDDDDDDD

13. 'Yo, dudes. Me and Potter here - we so not getting' jiggy with it. You copy?' Draco said briefly.

OMG. OMG. OMG. <3

14. 'I will do this, and then I will go out and kiss every girl I see, animal vegetable or mineral, and you will all CEASE THIS NONSENSE.'

OMG I want to scream THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE but I won't. xD

15. Forbidden-Except-To-Heros-Of-The-Light Forest.

SO TRUE. xD 'Cept I don't know if it's just a States thing, but "Heros" is spelled "Heroes"?

16. tilting his head back with a superior expression Hermione assured him made him look like he had three chins.

xD Love.

17. 'A temporary aberration!' Harry roared. 'Once he finds out the truth you'll be tattooed before you can say Cruciatus!'

I love this fic so much! It is just wonderful.

18. 'Really, is that necessary?' she sighed, and not waiting for an answer muttered something and flicked her wand so that the luminous yellow letters now read 'Love Conquers All' instead of 'I Support the Harry/Draco Squick Club'.

OMG *snicker*



BUT WAIT, I DON'T UNDERSTAND!? The very last few paragraphs . . . what other letters were there? And the Sorting Hat? :O?
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 17th, 2005 02:03 pm (UTC)
Re: LJ HATES ME AND MY REVIEW.
First off, I would hug you until you burst for your awesome review (even if lj hates it I DO NOT!!), but then you would be bust and could never review again and that would be insanely bad.

Heroes - I'd say you are right, as usual!

The other letters; mmm, I think I meant Dumbledore wrote to Lucius telling him the plot/ or blackmailed him somehow. And the Sorting Hat told Snape that Dumbledore is a Slytherin (my own personal opinion!)

As for AA Gill, he's amazing! He writes restarant reviews for the Sunday Times (English paper) but they have practically nothing to do with food. Example, this week:

Don't you always wonder about people who complain about their good name? 'You've sullied my good name', 'All I've got is my good name'. No, you haven't, you've got a second-hand Nissan Micra and a mistress above a bookmaker's. And, frankly, what is a good name? It's not as if there's a shortage. You can have as many as you like. What if your good name was Robert, then someone took Robert and robbed a bank with it? Genghis was a good name once.

CRAZY GENIUS! MAH IDOL!
gabbysun on January 17th, 2005 04:35 pm (UTC)
Re: LJ HATES ME AND MY REVIEW.
YES WE DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN GABBY EXPLODES. :( NO.

Dumbledore should totally be a Slytherin. Have you noticed that Gryffindor is, like, the default House? It annoys me to no end, how everyone good and on the side of the Light is from Gryffindor. ;____;

xD Oh, now how I long to read more articles by this crazy crazy man!
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 18th, 2005 01:27 pm (UTC)
Re: LJ HATES ME AND MY REVIEW.
NO WE DO NOT!!

Yes, he's so sneaky! But he uses his powers for good. I don't like Gryffindor so much (I'm a Ravenclaw, ha!)

OK, what I am going to do this weekend: get out my collected copies of Style, pick out his best quotes and put them all in a post just for you!
gabbysun on January 18th, 2005 06:10 pm (UTC)
Re: LJ HATES ME AND MY REVIEW.
THEN WE ARE ONE IN AGREEMENT!?

I think I'm a Ravenclaw on the inside . . . I DON'T KNOW. xD; I've never really cared enough to take a quiz, to tell you the truth.

*dance!*
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 19th, 2005 10:49 am (UTC)
Re: LJ HATES ME AND MY REVIEW.
YES! THRICE YES!

*is FAN-atic* I've taken three, and they were pretty conclusive...

*g*
Lord Marmaduke Newbrycatsmeat on January 18th, 2005 03:47 am (UTC)
I regulary don't give to charity, and yet I loved it.

I must be getting soft.

*thinks hard thoughts*
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 18th, 2005 09:59 am (UTC)
I'm going to do the bad thing here and assume you are talking about my fic...

SO LIEK WOAH. YAYHEHEHE. And many good things are soft eg pillows, and marshmallows, and other things ending in 'ow'.
Lord Marmaduke Newbrycatsmeat on January 19th, 2005 04:35 am (UTC)
The bad thing?

HOW ABOUT THE GOOD THING?
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 19th, 2005 10:43 am (UTC)
That too.
Lord Marmaduke Newbrycatsmeat on January 21st, 2005 02:13 am (UTC)
SHEESH.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 21st, 2005 11:16 am (UTC)
I saw Richard III in Waterstones.