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12 February 2005 @ 12:15 pm
It never rains but it rolls, being contrary and all  

Quite a lot of talent at Mass tonight, for a miracle! (No loaves or fishes, though, but I'll take Lynx and gel any day). There was Dara - dang he fine - and Kevin - less fine, but gains brownies point for looking like my idea of Harry Potter - and Simon - he of the Patented Porcupine Hairdo who does for a gander on slow nights.

The sight must have inspired my inner bitch (who isn't, let's be honest, all that inner) and my mother was sniggering all the way through the service.

ME: *gazing thoughfully at Fashion Hooligan sitting one pew ahead* What possesses boys to dye little blonde patches into their hair? What benighted force triggers a hormonal response to the effect that this would be a damn good idea? *ponders streaked hair of FH's mother* Does he go to the same hairdresser as his mammy?

*later*

MUM: Arg, my trousers are too short over my boots.

ME: Don't worry, things like that don't matter when you're old.

MUM: *hits me with her glasses case* I think I'll get my bellybutton pierced, what do you think?

ME: Fine, work away. I'll buy a Zimmer frame.

MUM: *hits me again with her glasses case*

*even later*

MUM: Would you look at that woman's skirt? It's gorgeous!!

ME: *looks. skirt is something that was abandoned in Hickey's bargain bin for people who have their taste genes removed at birth* Oh, my, god. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life!

MUM: *bites glasses case*

ME: And so multifunctional! It could double as a carpet!

Also I walked over the grass in the graveyard, which you aren't really supposed to do unless you are the priest or a graverobber. (If forced to pick, SO the latter.) I feel like such a rebel.

 
 
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: 'Sonnet', the Verve
 
 
 
Minnowminnow_53 on February 12th, 2005 12:39 pm (UTC)
Hi, just to let you know your story is on my journal now. In case you stumbled on the long intro, I have just edited it and there's now only a dedication. Hope you enjoy!x
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 12th, 2005 12:51 pm (UTC)
I saw your last message, but I was forced to go eat my dinner before I could read it. On my way now!!
Larburnvictim on February 12th, 2005 02:00 pm (UTC)
That conversation piece had me laughing for a good while. And then the carpet bit set me off for a while longer. Damn you =P

"Also I walked over the grass in the graveyard, which you aren't really supposed to do unless you are the priest or a graverobber."

Wow, I did not know that. I feel so bad now, I've desecrated holy ground!
Theres still graverobbers? Groovy. Maybe they should set up CCTV cameras.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 12th, 2005 03:50 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's good! Making people laugh is such a buzz, I can't tell you. Worth the Bad Looks for talking in Mass.

Er. That may have been a slight exaggeration. For humour purposes, so it's okay. Probably. Not too sure about the graverobbers, but then, I was thinking about that while my mother was screaming at me to come down for my dinner, so the logic may be more than slightly skewed...xD
The Light Snarktasticsnarkophagus on February 12th, 2005 02:04 pm (UTC)
Oooh. I'd have to take one of those white collar-thingies if I went across the grass in a graveyard, though. Get caught without one and they'll know without question why you're there.

Plus, you know, corpses. Eww. Would be a different story if anyone was sent off with pyramid quality valuables anymore, but graverobbing just isn't such a lucrative career option in this day and age.

Yes. Bedtime. Only when loopy could I have come up with that.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 12th, 2005 03:51 pm (UTC)
A dog-collar? Or, you could just go with the old shovel and sack. xD

They always stick a fiver in the shirt pocket, so if it hasn't rotted you're fair game for that...
denial_girldenial_girl on February 12th, 2005 03:03 pm (UTC)
And verily, denial_girl laughed heartily at the exploits of belov'd scoradh. Amen.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 12th, 2005 03:52 pm (UTC)
Yea, for scoradh did bless denial_girl for her great aid in the just cause of the Big Laugh Crusade. Awomen.
Jax: fuckingserious copyright by <lj comm=imadra_blue on February 12th, 2005 03:06 pm (UTC)
Dude, your diary entries are a scream. I am so laughing. <3
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 12th, 2005 03:53 pm (UTC)
This pleases me! As does your icon. WOW. I'm snorting, I swear to christ.
(no subject) - imadra_blue on February 12th, 2005 04:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 12th, 2005 04:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - imadra_blue on February 12th, 2005 04:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 12th, 2005 04:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
starts with kanyotherknight on February 12th, 2005 04:17 pm (UTC)
Grave robbing sounds interesting; of course, I've already danced on my granddad's grave (he told me to on his deathbed, eh?) so no one wants to take me to mass with them. The carpet-skirt sounds like my french teacher, too. Maybe there's a secret list of requirements for french teachers: 1) Pervy-ness a must 2) Fashionistas need not apply 3) Fashionistas who think getting hit over the head with a bottle of bleach is a good hairstyle apply here...
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 12th, 2005 04:28 pm (UTC)
Ooh, that sounds like a good request...but I don't want a funeral, I just want to be thrown off the side of a ship. No fuss. I AHBOR funerals.

4) They must not be able to apply lipstick 5)they must leave the tags on their clothes 6) they must never notice bubbles...
starts with kanyotherknight on February 12th, 2005 04:32 pm (UTC)
I want to be incinerated and dumped in my current mortal enemy's breakfast, but that's a different story.

6) Hair gel must be used in lieu of shampoo 7) Grasp of modern english unnecessary; pig latin, Shakespearian and middle english a must. 8) Pantyhose must have skirt tucked in at least once per week. 9) Oogling students advised...
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 12th, 2005 04:50 pm (UTC)
You are quite morbidly cool, you know.

My teacher was a grandmother, so she didn't ogle. Or at least, I hope she didn't. Pray gods she didn't!!
(no subject) - anyotherknight on February 12th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
passionate trousersgalindaupland on February 13th, 2005 10:59 am (UTC)
I'm starting to love your mother :)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Fly my prettiesscoradh on February 13th, 2005 12:40 pm (UTC)
Ha! You can swap if you want.
(no subject) - galindaupland on February 13th, 2005 01:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 13th, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Caitcoralia13 on February 13th, 2005 11:30 pm (UTC)
Your mom sounds very cool. And how's Lent working out for you?

Mass sounds fun.
For, like, a minute.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 14th, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
*falls over in fits of psychotic laughter* Oh yeah, I gave up Christianity for Lent.

Sorry...Tommy Tiernan effect. I'm an atheiest, I have to go to Mass so I don't set a bad example for my brother.

As for TT, I have to share (from the Just for Laughs festival). He was talking about the Passion of the Christ and how apparently it seemed anti-semetic, because it implied...wait for it...that the Jews killed Christ.

TOMMY:...WELL, IT WASN'T THE MEXICANS!!

Sorry. HAAAAAAAA.
(no subject) - coralia13 on February 14th, 2005 09:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 15th, 2005 03:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - coralia13 on February 15th, 2005 08:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 16th, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - coralia13 on February 16th, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
henbock on February 14th, 2005 11:26 am (UTC)
hehehehehehhehe
I love my icon which I also stole but hey I cant get caught right, right, said Martin Cullen!!
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Choking Crookshanksscoradh on February 14th, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC)
Re: hehehehehehhehe
Ooh, Seth - but MUST YOU INFECT MY JOURNAL WITH VALENTINE'S SHIT? URKH.

Cullen...he's the guy who hired Monica Leech, is he?