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20 May 2005 @ 10:34 pm
Dude. Eerie Queer-Eye?  

It just figures that my favourite -- thus far -- manga should have the stupidest name in the history of lame-arse translations. *facepalm*

Numero uno. IRELAND LOST IN THE EUROVISION HEATS! Now, maybe, everyone will realise what a great joke the rest of Europe was having at our expense all this time...

Numero duo: PIMP. history_spork. Qualified historians dissing terrible Hollywood historical 'epics'. This is gonna be good.

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I'm starting to suspect that sometimes events really do happen for a reason.

Consider, I started working as an archivist/filist/general dogsbody in the city dental hospital on Monday. I picked up the system in about two seconds flat, as would any given brain-dead monkey. However, I archived so fast the head receptionist person had nowhere to put all the files, so I was filing and current-file-fetching for irate dentists all day.

Now, I don't much like archiving, or the work at all for that matter. I have an opinion of bureaucracy and paper-pushing that even Cohen the Barbarian would describe as 'uncomplimentary'. As Pterry also said, except about trucks: 'The files go in, the files go out. No one knows why, but presumably to give them some sort of outing'. It's so damn pointless and unorganised. I have at least twenty things I'd change to make it more efficient. The one bright spot was finding two real teeth in one file. I used it as an anecdote for my fellow drones for a whole working day.

So, when Ann said I was to be filing, I was not exactly, 'HOT DAMN!' I can sit down when archiving, but not when filing, I had to go to the toilet about ten times just to rest my legs. --TMI, je sais--

So there I was, tapping away at the laptop and scanning out files, because the two receptionists were too busy eating sugar-free sweets and doing receipts to actually get the files they were asked for. I don't usually pay much attention to the dental students, beyond noticing that they are a) haughty b) demanding c) five girls to one boy d) the boys are pretty gay, which, while pretty, is pretty useless to me.

BUT THEN.

THERE WAS ONE.

OH, BUGGER.

And I was doing so well! A whole year -- well, give or take a month to forget the Evil Git, bar sporadic reminising -- without a crush, and now -- THIS. *weeps, and weeps, and weeps* I mean, I'm picky. Even on generally-acceptable boys, I do a mental processing which comes up with, 'Yeah, he's okay, but because of ___ I couldn't possibly'. Which isn't to say David is perfect. It's just that my mind came up with, 'Absolutely, whenever, wherever, with whipped cream you say? Leather girdles? Hokay, I'm there'. And that was IT.

I knew. I knew even before I saw him up close, because I perpetrated a whole load of acts I'd never yet done in time I've been there for the sole purpose, in hindsight, of attacting his attention -- negative or otherwise.

Nearly dropped files on the floor -- check. Walloped my back off the cranks for the ceiling-high filing cabinets -- check. Blushed, profusely -- check. Had difficulty typing in the ID numbers -- check. Funny voice when asked was I, actually, finding the files, Rachel? Yes, I [bloody well] am, Beibhinn. -- check.

Then I went to the desk to hand them up -- the dude had checked out three of the files to himself a month ago, one of the ones who hides the things in his locker I suspect, although why? They're hardly a riveting read, I know because archiving is boring and I read all the letters. Dentists are WIERD.

I told him this, although I got the whole larynigitis-voice AGAIN, and handed them over. Then Beibhinn -- who thinks I'm stupid, I reckon, even though I could already do her job and better, plus is one of those annoying people who pronounces my name 'Ra-shell', and if I wanted that gammy name I would have changed mine -- asked me had I checked out the files.

At that moment I saw him properly and my brain actually slowed. One-way track of thought: HANDS. EYELASHES. SKIN. OUT OF CHEESE ERROR, CANNOT COMPUTE, IZ DED.

Rachel: "Yeah, Beibhinn, they were already checked out."

David: "Oh, really? Oops."

Beibhinn: "No, I mean did you scan those out? The ones you just gave him?"

Rachel: "What? Oh. Oh, yeah, of course."

David: "Well, cheers, thanks. Cheers." *scurries off*

I did resist the urge to check up his stats on the computer.

Well, actually, I couldn't hack into the system. I found out a lot about patients, though, and nearly charged one dude twenty-one quid for fillings about four times.

I will not do anything creepy, like transpose our last names. *shifty eyes*

...

Or notice that if we got married my initials would still be the same.

I wonder could I talk him into calling our son Harry?

 
 
Current Mood: hornycrushing and burning
Current Music: 'Lonely', Akon
 
 
 
starts with kanyotherknight on May 20th, 2005 03:01 pm (UTC)
...Dentists are weird. Mine leaves teeth, molars especially, on the counter to freak out the receptionists. He even does a twist on the "got you nose" thing to make the kids think he's pulling out his own teeth.

Had difficulty typing in the ID numbers -- check. Funny voice when asked was I, actually, finding the files, Rachel? Yes, I [bloody well] am, Beibhinn. -- check.
Good. I was hoping it wasn't only me. Did you attempt to clear your throat only to have the frantic half-second of ohgodsIjustswallowedmytongue panic in between funny voices?

Harry is a perfectly acceptable name, as any rational person would realize
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 20th, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC)
Yup, yup. The ortho. secretary says they keep teeth in jars there. I forget why, now. Prolly just to announce: 'We're here! We're queer! We're pulling your teeth here!'

Oh, YES.

I'll even settle for Henry. Or, Ronald, or Bill...
(no subject) - anyotherknight on May 20th, 2005 03:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 20th, 2005 03:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - anyotherknight on May 20th, 2005 04:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 20th, 2005 04:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - anyotherknight on May 20th, 2005 04:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 20th, 2005 05:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 20th, 2005 04:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - anyotherknight on May 20th, 2005 05:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
cutecoaticutecoati on May 20th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for the pimp, dear!

A den-tist *gasps* *keeps mouth firmly shut*
...he'd better be gorgeous, then...
But Harry is just a wonderful charac name, isn't he ;-)))
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 20th, 2005 03:36 pm (UTC)
No worries -- I can't wait for Gladiator! It will make me sound so much better informed, you see. :)

HE IS. To me, anyway, although he's kind of ordinary-looking. TALL, though.

I've never been afraid of the dentist! I wanted to be one, before I realised it's such a boring job. Am I alone, here?
(no subject) - fourth_rose on May 21st, 2005 01:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 22nd, 2005 04:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cutecoati on May 22nd, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cutecoati on May 23rd, 2005 09:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 23rd, 2005 12:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Caitcoralia13 on May 20th, 2005 07:20 pm (UTC)
Oh, my dear! You are back in the land of the living! Or, dead. Or, living dead. Or, possibly, the soon-to-be-dead. Yes, I like that one the best. I know I still owe you the book, but perhaps you will have one of your own, eh? Sounds like you will have many fun stories from this work (only May and you've already found loose teeth!), and some serious heartache. Feel free to come to me with either.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 21st, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC)
*winces* I think 'soon to be dead'. But on the bright side, I think he's in fifth year = graduating soon = never to be seen again by me! Crush over, please insert coin!

Fun? Gawd, I wish. Everyone's so nice and dull. Still, I'm good at it... that must count for something.

I await your book.

I just finished rewriting my chapter two. Is bettair. A bit. xD
gabbysun on May 20th, 2005 08:39 pm (UTC)
Regarding GO: it is so canon, I don't care what Pterry and Gneil might say. After all, of course we know much better what is really going on. xD (EEE SALIM AND THE IFRIT)

And you are so adorable. *noogie* xD
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 21st, 2005 05:27 pm (UTC)
Do they say it's not? Surely not?! I mean, it seemed like they did everything but say "A and C are gay together". They even said that Aziraphale was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrious oxide!! Dammit, where's that icon...

I love how we can squee over the Ifrit. You have no idea how much.
(no subject) - gabbysun on May 22nd, 2005 08:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on May 23rd, 2005 01:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - gabbysun on May 23rd, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Linz: nicksara by soulkillera_linz on May 20th, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, a dentist. He sounds rather devastating. Young Harry would have such a great sense of humour and perfect teeth!


...I'm not helping, am I? :P

*loves*
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 21st, 2005 05:01 pm (UTC)
Phish. I'm already gone... far, far gone, and accelerating over the horizon. ;)

But Harry would be such an EVIL cool name for a child!
Minnowminnow_53 on May 21st, 2005 03:53 am (UTC)
Dentists are rich. Love is overrated: money is better. Both is ideal, of course. :D Go for it!

Plenty of puns possible here, but I'll let you make them in your head!

^_^xx
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 21st, 2005 05:44 pm (UTC)
Dude. :)

You sound just like my old art teacher.
Sparkles: NEKKIDALIASTIME!hxcpunkchick on May 21st, 2005 04:30 am (UTC)

*hugs the numero duo*
I have a degree in History (and Psychology) Education, so I much love it just from the title/description. I'm sure it'll be better than the book Lies My Teacher Told Me.

Re: numero tres
Well, it sort of applies. Comic book of Neverwhere in one month. *is a little too excited* *loves Neil a little too much*

I love going to the dentist and I think it's sad that I'm one of the only ones. In a Developmental Psychology class of about 250 studens, I was the only person in there who liked going. I mean, who doesn't like that clean feeling you can only seem to get when you come from the dentist?!
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 21st, 2005 05:43 pm (UTC)
If you read the first one, on Kingdom of Heaven, you'll be in lurrrve. :)

You and angelislington both. xD

I've been so much I'm kind of immune -- braces, yanno? But I still hate fillings. However, cute dentist=much love.
NumberNine: crowley/aziraphale by linnpuzzlehappyreaper on May 21st, 2005 05:01 am (UTC)
The first time I read Good Omens, I was innocent. The next, I was shocked by all the subtext I hadn't noticed before. That bit is among my favourites. *g*

Hands, eyelashes, skin? Teeth. And I like the last three after.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 21st, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC)
I actually didn't pick up much subtext AFTER -- I'm dumb like that. But that bit just jumped up and bit me, basically.xD

I can't remember his teeth, but I think it's safe to say they're perfect. *winks*
(no subject) - happyreaper on May 22nd, 2005 06:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
M: Franky (Angelina)vaguely_dirty on May 21st, 2005 07:27 pm (UTC)
Hey there, you were recced to me by imadra_blue and, well, here I am (late as always). Can I friend you?
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 22nd, 2005 03:36 am (UTC)
You so' can! *friends back* I was wondering why your name sounded familiar!
(Anonymous) on May 23rd, 2005 06:36 am (UTC)
How're ya Ra-shell
mwahahahaha. so ur seriously sayin ur ovr u-kno-who??
it is my aim in life 2 tell u these things.
Went Clon sat nite 4 Fionas birthday. Saw Mike Hayes. and coz im currently with one of his Waterford buddies, (yes the poor fella shared a room with mike from september to xmas, no lasting damage!) he felt he had2 come up & talk2 me, well annoy me, mock me, generally stand shouting at me. u kno our Mike! And oh-big-fat-head stood behind him the whole time with a face as long as a field. someone needs some happy pills!!! or a great big kick up his ass. Really, WTF?? deadly attitude problem.incurable.like Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. ur well rid.......
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 23rd, 2005 12:26 pm (UTC)
Wassup... what was your nickname again?!
Yeah, I heard from Brigid Caplice he dropped out. *facepalm*

I presume you is talkin' about the Evil Git? He was some twat, but so was I, for liking him in the first place...

*giggles at last line*
denial_girldenial_girl on May 23rd, 2005 11:46 am (UTC)
**has history_spork's babies** Thanks for the link!

I'm not afraid of the dentist either. I guess it doesn't hurt that I've been going to the same one since I was four (am twenty now) and they still let me take a toy from the "treasure box". Yeah I'm mature.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on May 23rd, 2005 01:32 pm (UTC)
It's cool, innit? *beams*

Aw, I wanna treasure box! *stamps foot in very 19-year-old manner*