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22 September 2006 @ 09:22 pm
I may be PMSing.  

Please feel free to contribute to the hate-fest.

Writers whose computers should be taken away before they cause (any more) harm to themselves or others:

1. Sarah Waters. What utter bullshit this woman produces omg. Maybe it would do more for me if I was into girl-fiddling, but sadly no. Even if I was, I couldn't imagine getting turned on by this half-hearted effort at smut, what with all the terrible metaphors that must be the lesbian equivalent of those sad weeping erections. And I'm sure the utter implausibility of everything would still put me off.

2. Anne McCaffrey. Adverbs are not weapons, bitch. Put down the keyboard and step away from the 'ly'.

3. Robert Jordan. Why must you say you will keep writing until someone nails your coffin shut? After all, you never added any disclaimer to the effect that you had to be dead first, which gives me all sorts of interesting ideas ...

4. Cathy Kelly. How's it going, perhaps you should visit the rest of Ireland before you write about it, mm? Plus: so boring it makes me want to stick my head in a gas oven for some light entertainment.

5. Raymond E. Feist. Such gratuitous self-insertion makes me want to barf. On you.

Out of interest, when you buy a book by Jane Austen ... who gets the money?

Also, I am having to read endless amounts of Tezuka/Fuji (or, I should say, zukaji, right?) because there is hardly. anything. else. I have used up all my last stocks of Silver Pair besides. This is making me very sulky. Very very sulky.

 
 
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
Current Music: Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana)
 
 
 
Snakelingsnakeling on September 22nd, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
when you buy a book by Jane Austen ... who gets the money?
The publisher. The prefacer, if there's one, but I think they're paid a set amount of money, not royalties :)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Beltsscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:33 pm (UTC)
Wow. Shakespeare's publishers must, like, own the world. O.O
Labyrinthlabyrinthlace on September 22nd, 2006 09:11 pm (UTC)
Actually, Anne McCaffrey passed away a while ago I believe and her son is now writing the books. However, I happen to like adverbs. An .02 from a passing stranger. *g*
mad_martha on September 22nd, 2006 09:51 pm (UTC)
I don't think she's actually dead, just very frail these days. Perhaps you were thinking of Marion Zimer Bradley? She did die a while back.
(no subject) - scoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
grr! - scoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Zilch. Zero. Nothing. Nada.inmyth on September 22nd, 2006 09:11 pm (UTC)
*hugs tensai*

Rachel, love, breathe. Oh btw did you read The Shadow of the Wind yet?

Also a bit random: why didn't anyone warn me about Uni?! Got my timetable today and it's PACKED. I have 7 hours worth of tutorials/lectures/lab work in one friggin day! BUT on the plus and kinda lame side, I got my lab coat today and it says 'The Liverpool Engineer' on it, that nearly made me squee when I saw it!

Oh and I added you to MSN, I think. Don't you come online?
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:42 pm (UTC)
Haven't been near a bookshop yet to check it out, unfortunately. D: Funds are also not as healthy as they could be!

Ay vay, the old nine-to-six grind. I can't wait. Plus: brains in a bucket! That has to make up for everything (I hope). Labcoats are shiny. Until you forget to bring them and have to wear a plastic apron instead.

I do, I guess I just don't sign in all that often. Hotmail hates me anyway. :D
(no subject) - inmyth on September 23rd, 2006 08:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Halrloprillalar: buchouprillalar on September 22nd, 2006 09:39 pm (UTC)
Also, I am having to read endless amounts of Tezuka/Fuji (or, I should say, zukaji, right?) because there is hardly. anything. else. I have used up all my last stocks of Silver Pair besides. This is making me very sulky. Very very sulky.

I'm cranky because there haven't been any new standard pairings prom or reunion stories on ff.n for ages. But I am following two crack stories that don't involve anyone having cancer (at least so far):

In Which There Is No Tennis
Inui's Interviews
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Chatting ballerinasscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 09:16 pm (UTC)
Prom stories? I've never read one of those! Ha, my memories of mine consist of my friend having sex in a bush and mixing Baileys and Fat Frogs. Err.

But. Your recs! I started reading the first and yeah, the grammar burns and 'I'm going to just call him Yana' -- but it's roll around on the floor beating it with your fists kinda funny. Thank you so much -- I'm going to check out the other one tonight. I seriously need a distraction. :D

mad_martha on September 22nd, 2006 09:49 pm (UTC)
As a former Mercedes Lackey fan, I nominate her. Please don't make me explain why, as I'm having dodgy dial-up connections this evening! Also her husbnad, Larry Dixon, but that's mostly for crimes against art.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Fangirlscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:43 pm (UTC)
What. an. awesome. name! A car and a servant! She should have just combined it into 'valet'. :D

I've never read her. I think, now, I shan't.
jehnt: hp - rouge death eaters!?jehnt on September 22nd, 2006 09:52 pm (UTC)
I recommend:

6. Dan Brown. Every sentence is a new exercise in awkward structure. Every spoken line is cried, uttered, snapped, snorted, or chuckled, but never said. Also, no one ever explained to him that thing about showing and not telling.

Dan Brown's books = pain. Ohmygod so much pain!
sallydammerungsallydammerung on September 22nd, 2006 10:08 pm (UTC)
I gotta back that one. I tried reading Davinci Code, and one page in, I threw up in my mouth a little. That was way the hell enough of that.
(no subject) - scoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jehnt on September 23rd, 2006 10:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Footballscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC)
Oh ... well, I read as far as the dragon-induced hetsex in Dragonflight and gave up in disgust. In one foul swoop she'd deprived me of the lovely UST I need and crave. I couldn't forgive her for that. Nor could I read any further.

Besides, I broke my brain on the adverbs.
sallydammerungsallydammerung on September 22nd, 2006 10:07 pm (UTC)
Robert Jordan time is the only thing that moves slower than Dragonball Z time.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Tangled Golden Pairscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
BRILLIANT.

This is why publishers should refrain from ten-book deals.
Matchy西: fuji_prodigymatchynishi on September 22nd, 2006 10:26 pm (UTC)
*gigglesnicker* I agree with most of the hate. :3 Except I'm not familiar with Cathy Kelly and Sarah Waters. Hmm, maybe I should keep it that way. :p

TezukaFuji. >.< That... is not a favourite pairing of mine. No, definitely not. è.é I sympathize with you. -.- I shall recommend unexpectedtimes for awesome Fujicest (♥), however. :D
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Mermaidscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 09:01 pm (UTC)
Cathy Kelly ... what words can I use to describe her? Blonde and boring shall suffice, yes. And I really do think that if Sarah Waters wrote about boys she'd write a good deal better, at least from where I'm standing. I can forgive almost anything for the BL. :D

I just hate the way Fuji is nearly always seme. There's really nothing remotely seme-ish about him, at least in this sitch. The only one he can top is Ryoma ... at a pinch. And, I don't know, I'm sure I'll say this over and over in future, but what do they have going for them? Besides legions of devoted fangurls, I mean.

Excellent, reccies! [rubs hands excitedly]

(no subject) - matchynishi on September 24th, 2006 10:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Dracoscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 09:04 pm (UTC)
Shrivelling is too kind a death. Let it be the stocks or let it be nothing.

Wow, Joyce. Call me a plebe and pelt me with oranges, but I do detest the man. Perhaps I shouldn't have started with Ulysses. My continuing reaction was 'WHAT THIS SHIT IS THIS' and it put me off anything else of his, which might even be better -- who knows? (Not me.) Good luck on that. :D
Ticcadaniellafromage on September 22nd, 2006 11:18 pm (UTC)
There's something about Sarah Waters' writing style that really bugs me and I wish I could put my finger on it - I read the opening paragraphs of The Night Watch in Waterstones today and they were some of the least-inspiring things I've ever read.

I kind of get the impression that she wants to write character-motivated novels when really (imo) she'd be better off focusing her skillz on plot stuff. I could barely follow what was happening in Affinity.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Rabbit with swordscoradh on September 23rd, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC)
I can't say I think much of her plotting skill, myself -- Fingersmith was the most laboured, strange, pointless thing I'd read since ... what was it ... Tipping the Velvet! [eyeroll] I think it's that she never dares to let herself go properly. You need to let it rip when you're writing about Victorian lesbians, and thieves and prostitutes besides. And Waters ... doesn't. Everything is so clean and cosmetic and happy endings wtf.
(Deleted comment)
gwathhenationgwathhenation on September 23rd, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)
Good question! I want to know that.
(no subject) - scoradh on September 23rd, 2006 09:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Riakessie on September 23rd, 2006 12:52 am (UTC)
Ref: Sarah Waters: I like. I have no idea why, but I do.

Sadly, I am into girl-fiddling. REGARDLESS.

Ref: Anne McCaffrey: Nope, never liked.

Robert Jordan: Still have to get through #1, which says it all, really.

Cathy Kelly: needs to live in Ye Olde Irish Village before she writes about it. Her last two books have been horrifying.

Raymond E. Feist: I got the books because it had a fox on the cover. I have a weak spot for foxes. The end.

TezuFuji is only hot when Ryoma is involved. Because Tezuka/Ryoma/Fuji is the hottest thing ever. Fuji = ♥ *________________*

I am very, very drunk. Damn, my non-existant alcohol tolerance. Blah.

every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Dane Danescoradh on September 23rd, 2006 09:12 pm (UTC)
Sadly, I am into girl-fiddling. REGARDLESS

[triumphant] My theory holds true! Excellent. Maybe I should re-read them and pretend they're cross-dressing boys. (Hey, if the corset fits ...)

I just gaped when Kelly put a village called 'REDLION' in Kerry, AKA the most Irish county by a long stretch. First of all, wouldn't it be less ... English? Or containing a reference to the English coat of arms? Sheesh. The woman pains me.

Hee, foxes? That's awesome. I'm all about the cats myself. That's the only reason I read The Redemption of Althalus, come to think of it.

Up the Power Triangle! :D

You're well up on my classmates, who can't even type that well when sober.
(no subject) - kessie on September 23rd, 2006 09:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Lullaby in my handtodaythesamesky on September 24th, 2006 05:09 am (UTC)
I have no hate to contribute, just love for your icon. Because dude. Sinfest. ♥
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on September 24th, 2006 05:04 pm (UTC)
OMGYES. :D