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13 December 2006 @ 09:19 pm
here and now, you are alive  

If my life was a newspaper, these would be today's headlines:

Rachel had to touch a cute guy's foot. (He had curly black hair, glasses, blue eyes and looked like Frodo Baggins with a god complex. And that's all I remember, officer.) To be fair, he was pretending to have suffered a stroke at the time. 

I made an appointment this morning and saw a counsellor this afternoon, how's that for Irish Health Services? I can't decide if it was more creepy than cathartic (and he laughed at me for using the word 'cathart'. Also 'precipitating factors'). He is about the only person who told me I should quit medicine for definite, which was interesting. And who recognised it for a symptom and not a cause. Plus, he's free! (Student services, you know.)

Isn't something I've ever done or likely will do, but I couldn't break the cycle of titles at this crucial stage! What I mean to say is: if you've friended me lately and I haven't friended you back, but you would like me to, please to drop a note here. I haven't been able to keep track of lj much lately, and this would just make my life easier. And obviously y'all should form a conglomerate of willing slaveys to make my life easier because yo, to serve me is to reap greater glory than is imaginable by mere mortals!

Clearly I should have written Napoleon's speeches.

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Caitcoralia13 on December 13th, 2006 10:14 pm (UTC)
Congrats on finishing exams! But leaving medicine, eh? Was his suggestion a relief or a surprise? I take it the subject is still not entralling you? What would you do if you left? Am I sounding like your mother, because I am DEFINITELY sounding like mine. (Sorry.)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: I love youscoradh on December 13th, 2006 10:21 pm (UTC)

Um. Leaving medicine: about a month since I started seriously considering it, I guess. His suggestion was a relief, but he doesn't have to live with it! I'm not sure. Take a degree in English. Or ... just try to find a job, I guess. :D

How are YOU?
Cait: pleasedcoralia13 on December 13th, 2006 10:43 pm (UTC)
You love my MOM, you mean. Haha, I love you too! Who could say no to that little kitten icon?
That sounds like a really good idea. True, the guy doesn't have to live with it, but you do, and you know that, so it's not like you're going to make the decision on a whim, or without considering it from all angles. I think it's a lot braver (and harder) to change your path than it is to continue along it, and thus it's usually the right decision to change it. Robert Frost would agree.
I am GREAT. Really, really well. I am in love with Keble and Oxford and England, and this term has been absolutely incredible. Unfortunately, most of my posts have been private for one reason or another, but I'll have to catch you up on everything some other way. Maybe when I hopefully meet you in the spring? What are you doing the last two weeks of March?
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Ryoma: Pontascoradh on December 13th, 2006 10:53 pm (UTC)
I don't think I could really bond with anyone who could say no to that kitten. :D

Thank you. You are well qualified to speak, you've been around since the issue first came up! [sigh] If I knew this was how it would turn out ... but hindsight is always twenty-twenty (or six-six, actually, considering Europe is metric).

I'm so glad to hear that, because I seem to recall a certain amount of wibbling from the very beginning --? I'd love to know if you met any cute boys from the Oxfordshire area!

As for March, I really couldn't say. My timetable probably frees me up, but I don't even know if I'll be following a timetable by then ... let's just say I am! ♥
Cait: silly Buffycoralia13 on December 13th, 2006 11:20 pm (UTC)
I'm never going to live that down, am I? I haven't been wibbling for a very long time! Anyway, no, it's great, and I'm even toying with the idea of moving there after graduation, if I can get a position with Oxford Univeristy Press. We shall see! As for the Boy Issue... That'll have to be an email, or a post flocked just for you. Oh, the boys. They make them pretty in Oxford. Pretty and gay. Remind me why you aren't there? You know, if you switch to an English degree, you should consider Oxford...

Keep me posted on the academic/emotion situation. I'd love to help wherever I can, if it's just by nodding and saying "hmmm."
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Hai senpaiscoradh on December 13th, 2006 11:26 pm (UTC)
I don't think you have, I just haven't been ON properly since then. It seems not very long ago ... time flew.

You should flock a post for me. I'd feel so special! Besides, I'm inquisitive and want to know, dammit.

I'd love to consider Oxford, but I wouldn't get in. I didn't before. :D

The one good thing to come out of all this is the idea that maybe, just maybe, I'll have time to come online and be online -- interact properly -- in future. ♥
Cait: dating suckscoralia13 on December 13th, 2006 11:34 pm (UTC)
Okay, you've convinced me. Sometime soon (maybe tonight - probably not now, as I should really go spend some quality time with my parents, who have started to express feelings of jealousy towards my computer, with which I spend most of my time, as I am ridiculously Keble-sick and thus obsessively check Skype and facebook to feel close to my friends), I will make a flocked entry about boys just for you. There will be several Exhibits, including pictures, quotes, and anecdotes. Get excited!

I have missed you this term! Definitely quit medicine so we can be together on LJ forever. There. Now two people have said it.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Jin: nonononoscoradh on December 13th, 2006 11:39 pm (UTC)

Seriously. I mean, I put pictures up before you for once! And there is no movement on the Eoin-situation, as he ignored me this morning after my exam even though people I don't even know and/or like asked me how it went. He blows hot and cold like a faulty steam kettle, and there is of course the supermodel girlfriend always hovering harpy-like in the background.

I have missed you this term! Definitely quit medicine so we can be together on LJ forever. There. Now two people have said it.

That is actually a far more convincing argument than it probably should be. I've felt quite isolated all term. Hopefully this can help me claw my way back to ... synergy ... or something ...
Cait: L/J - grow upcoralia13 on December 14th, 2006 05:36 pm (UTC)
It took me a stunningly long time to start typing this reply - I am being hypnotized by your scary, cartoon head shaking icon.
UGH! Boys! I wish we could all get to a place where their little whims and oddities and mindless cruelties did not reduce us to wibbling piles of self-doubt. Alas, I am no where near that place.
Isolation is no good! If you are unhappy in medicine, that's the best reason to leave it. Good luck with the decision!
My post is forthcoming! Perhaps tonight, after I have done some work at the library (oh, cruel world!)
JR: odio la vida realevalangui on December 13th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
Why was she(or it's Rachel your name and i haven't been informed?=) touching his foot if he was "having" a stroke?

Medicine must have advanced a lot while i was reading fic...XD

If i may agree with your counsellor, totally don't having any more info than that you posted, you have never seem very enthusiastic about medicine for itself...>.> Well, he seems to know what he is doing, if you really are as amusing in person as in writing, that's it.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Pretty facescoradh on December 13th, 2006 10:58 pm (UTC)
[amused] Yars, Rachel is my name. I put it on my userinfo, but I think only one person picked it up. Eh well.

He was pretending to have a stroke, see, and I had to elicit an upgoing plantar reflex ... which he did not in fact have, as he was only pretending to have a stroke. Meh.

No, that's true; I don't have a vocation. Most people I know in the course do, and that alerted me to the fact that something was rather wrong. He does seem to know what he's talking about, and was quite cool with the fact that I burst into tears as soon as I sat down, so --!
JRevalangui on December 14th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
Really? I love the name Rachel :)

*googles the medicine stuff* Wow, i thought the "chiromancy" and such were mostly made up, but if you can help someone with a stroke by touching their toe...(ok, i barely got the gist of what the wikipedia explained...i think)

Those people teaching first aids are obviously so deluded! XD

My dad always tells me that university is for your vocation, because otherwise where do you get the will to get through it?, not to mention, what's the point?
That said, the guy seems promising, good luck sorting it all out!
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every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Chibi: Atobescoradh on December 13th, 2006 11:30 pm (UTC)
feeling like it wasn't worth getting out of bed in the morning

GOD, I know that one. Like, off by heart.

Thank you. It's good to know, even though no one can make this decision for me (unfortunately).

Mmm, but it wasn't guidance counselling. It was 'emergency' therapy. My mother was so worried she made the call for me while I had my exam this morning. Looks like it's gonna be a long-term thang. :D
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every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Blue kissscoradh on December 13th, 2006 11:43 pm (UTC)
[grins] I guess it's a last-ditch thing, as opposed to a whim? Considering how many alcoholics I know (and am related to -- IT'S IRELAND) I can't see that being a huge deal, yanno?

Probably I should.

But I just can't summon up this deep well of caringness for people's livers. Oh, me.
Eloise Lovelaceeloiselovelace on December 14th, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
I don't know you terribly well, but I am currently negotiating a breakup with my graduate school plans, too. I realized that I hate research and that gone the PhD track more because it was surprisingly easy to get in and it seemed like something to do and expected of me.

It's turning out to be an amiable breakup which allows me to "just be friends" with science and live happily ever after in a teaching career... but regardless, as someone who's been there, I think it's definitely a good idea to have a trial separation at the very least if you are having doubts about grad school in your field.

Good luck!
Eloise Lovelaceeloiselovelace on December 14th, 2006 01:18 am (UTC)
And by trial separation, I mean taking a leave of absence. Can you do that in med school?

Having some time off, even if you're temping in the meantime, might make it easier to make the decision than when you're in the thick of it (or whatever the non-Seattle equivalent of a temping job is).

Does your school have career counsellor types? They can be helpful, as is talking to your professors (even if you have a crying jag in their office -- I know).
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Pandas can't talk!scoradh on December 15th, 2006 10:02 am (UTC)
I don't think there is such a thing as a leave of abcense at this point. Still, I have three weeks off for Christmas break, which is really ample thinking time. I either go or I stay, and once I've decided that has to be it. At least for a while.

I actually do have a 'mentor' who is one of the tutors. I guess I could talk to her about it, although what on earth I'd say I really don't know!

Thanks for the comments, anyway; it's good to know I have some support. :D
Eloise Lovelaceeloiselovelace on December 21st, 2006 08:40 pm (UTC)
Wow, three weeks is a scary deadline to make a major life-choice decision within.

I think that "Help, I don't like what I'm doing and don't know if I can stand continuing it for the sake of a piece of paper that I don't even know if I'll ever professionally use!" usually gets the conversation rolling. The talks and emails that I've had with even very tenuous networking connections really helped me figure out what it is that my options were, and made me feel a lot better about my decision... so maybe that'll help you, too.

Good luck deciding, and hang in there!
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every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Tezuka: strengthscoradh on December 15th, 2006 10:03 am (UTC)
It's always, always good to hear things working out for other people unexpectedly, in unusual ways -- it makes me think they will for me as well.

Thank you for your support, it is extremely appreciated. ♥