every Starbucks should have a polar bear (scoradh) wrote,
every Starbucks should have a polar bear

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10 Things You Never Knew About Med School (probably)

1. It's a lot like battle - long periods of waiting interspersed with short periods of action, although usually involving coffee more than death. Unless your firm leader is particularly fractious.

2. The white coats? Like living in a sauna. Not to mention that carrying around in your pockets, on average, 1 (one) stethoscope, 1 (one) penlight, 1 (one) pen, 1 (one) notebook, 1 (one) Oxford Handbook, 1 (one) Baby Talley and O'Connor, 1 (one) opthalmoscope (non-obligatory), 1 (one) tendon hammer, and locker keys, is really really heavy.

3. Some girls will be able to wear high heels and still not be the dumbest chicks in the rotation. The life-is-so-unfair brigade need look no further than this.

4. There is a certain dissociative state one goes into on wards, wherein one can ask about bowel habits and periods, feel under the breasts of elderly women for their heartbeats, examine pubic scars and watch an transoesophageal echo being performed while the patient nearly chokes to death, all with a purely academic interest, and without any embarrassment whatosever. I'm extremely relieved this is so because OMG OLD WOMAN PUBES.

5. The reason people become consultants is not for the money or the prestige. People complain that consultants barely spend five minutes with their patients. This - this is why they do it, why it's the pinnacle of achievement. Getting all your work done for you re: histories, exams and investigations by regs and SHOs, plus minimal patient contact, is basically the ideal state of existence for a doctor.

6. You will always forget a vital part of the history and not realise until it's too late and you're reading their notes. Oh hai so you had depression I hear? Funny how that didn't come up. Sry forget to ask what you do for a living. My bad. You've had an MI so obviously you can't have diverticulitis too! No wai!

7. Asking a 58-year-old woman about her periods is actually not the stupidest thing you will do.

8. People tend to have a bunch of stuff wrong with them. This gets really old, really quickly. It also means you'll forget loads in your history because you think you've already covered say the cardiac symptoms in their cardio-resp complaint when in fact, NO.

9. Writing veryveryvery fast is an essential skill. Forget palpation ausculation percussion observation (which are in the completely wrong order, anyway).

10. It's really rather fun.
Tags: work is much more fun than fun

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