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18 September 2007 @ 09:31 pm
10 Things You Never Knew About Med School (probably)  
1. It's a lot like battle - long periods of waiting interspersed with short periods of action, although usually involving coffee more than death. Unless your firm leader is particularly fractious.

2. The white coats? Like living in a sauna. Not to mention that carrying around in your pockets, on average, 1 (one) stethoscope, 1 (one) penlight, 1 (one) pen, 1 (one) notebook, 1 (one) Oxford Handbook, 1 (one) Baby Talley and O'Connor, 1 (one) opthalmoscope (non-obligatory), 1 (one) tendon hammer, and locker keys, is really really heavy.

3. Some girls will be able to wear high heels and still not be the dumbest chicks in the rotation. The life-is-so-unfair brigade need look no further than this.

4. There is a certain dissociative state one goes into on wards, wherein one can ask about bowel habits and periods, feel under the breasts of elderly women for their heartbeats, examine pubic scars and watch an transoesophageal echo being performed while the patient nearly chokes to death, all with a purely academic interest, and without any embarrassment whatosever. I'm extremely relieved this is so because OMG OLD WOMAN PUBES.

5. The reason people become consultants is not for the money or the prestige. People complain that consultants barely spend five minutes with their patients. This - this is why they do it, why it's the pinnacle of achievement. Getting all your work done for you re: histories, exams and investigations by regs and SHOs, plus minimal patient contact, is basically the ideal state of existence for a doctor.

6. You will always forget a vital part of the history and not realise until it's too late and you're reading their notes. Oh hai so you had depression I hear? Funny how that didn't come up. Sry forget to ask what you do for a living. My bad. You've had an MI so obviously you can't have diverticulitis too! No wai!

7. Asking a 58-year-old woman about her periods is actually not the stupidest thing you will do.

8. People tend to have a bunch of stuff wrong with them. This gets really old, really quickly. It also means you'll forget loads in your history because you think you've already covered say the cardiac symptoms in their cardio-resp complaint when in fact, NO.

9. Writing veryveryvery fast is an essential skill. Forget palpation ausculation percussion observation (which are in the completely wrong order, anyway).

10. It's really rather fun.
Current Location: 'studying'
Current Mood: giddylucozade energy!!
Current Music: here in your arms (hellogoodbye)
Loyaulte Me Lieshocolate on September 18th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
My mum had regular periods until she was 60....

Racey Lacey: Red pointeklasie on September 18th, 2007 11:20 pm (UTC)
Things like that are why we don't let my mother watch doctor shows. She ruins them, with all her nifty hospital SOP know-how.
Dr Leezardlizardspots on September 18th, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
Totally with you on the pubes and history-taking. I HATE HISTORY TAKING. I did a cystoscopy on an old grouchy Thatcher type - I sighted the scope with my finger. It was VILE, and smelt worse.

Ah, fun. :D

I hope you won't be run too ragged! I was so exhausted by the end of my first clinical year.
Mimikitty: TezukaRyoma Manga 349mimineko_chan on September 18th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)
Why do I find so many affinities with law ?

And don't forget all the money we spend for books !
Emo Spicy: U Go Grlemo_spicy on September 18th, 2007 11:57 pm (UTC)
lol. just lol.
Sereniaserenia on September 19th, 2007 02:36 am (UTC)
Do you have long to go on your course before you're a qualified doc?
Lib: Dancing Alienslibgirl on September 19th, 2007 02:38 am (UTC)
This was fantastic!

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad that you're enjoying it even if there are some more, unappealing aspect to it :D.
moocow: [HP] I am a cute thingmisconstrue on September 19th, 2007 02:55 am (UTC)
haha. well, at least your having fun? i was always mystified by how doctor pockets seemed vaguely Mary Poppins, and now you're confirming it.
grey_hunter on September 19th, 2007 04:57 am (UTC)
This is where I'd say: write a fic out of it. Alas. :D (Perhaps: one more?)