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21 January 2008 @ 08:55 pm
drink tea. there's plenty of tea.  
Today was not such a terribly good day.

I saw a man so jaundiced he was actually the colour of a banana, which I'm sure wasn't good for him. (I also think he may have wet himself while I was examining him, but there are some things too TMI for even my pity-party brain to contemplate.)

Our official tutor returned from the South Pole - don't even ask - which means actual work from now on, as opposed to faffing around with consultants.

The smell in one surgical ward was bad enough to make me faint. Faint.

I discovered that my 47,000-word Big Bang fic - probably the best work I've ever done - breaks one of the most important rules of the fest and is thus inadmissable. This is what I get for latching on to an idea and letting it run away with me. I'm so disappointed I could actually cry.

Speaking of rules, breaking the 'no-sequels' one is a no-brainer. The Road Less Travelled was an unexpected hit. I just know I'm not hitting the right note with the Three Steps Back.

And today, my f-o list hit 500.

I should be happy about this, right? It's an achievement. But. It feels like I've clawed every achievement from fandom, with tearing and teeth and blood. Others have risen like phoenixes. (Phoenixi?) Easily. I realise this is due to my inability to write proper porn, and over the last six months I haven't had time to let it bother me, butbutbut.

I just feel like I want something good to happen - not just ordinary, 'finding twenty bucks and a free breakfast*' good, but really damn extra-special good.

Also, to those 200-odd people I don't know: hi!

* Dead Like Me, people. Yes.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: work (jimmy eat world)
Luciequill_lumos on January 21st, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
Hi *waves* I reckon that I am one of the 200 people that you don't know. But I do know how you feel on the fanfic front, been there too. *hugs you for your fic-sadness*

every Starbucks should have a polar bear: ASS: I want somescoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:36 pm (UTC)
Ha, yes. This was my backwards-ass way of making a welcome post. Not that it turned out very welcoming.

Thank you, anyway! Fanfic is always something of an uphill struggle for me, although I suppose that makes it worth more in the long run (?).
Toniineedahero on January 21st, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)
Hi there, I'm another of those 200-odd strangers just chiming in to say that Three Steps Back is hitting ALL of the right notes with me. In fact, I kind of do a happy bouncy dance of joy in my seat every time I see an update.

And while I'm so sorry about your Big Bang fic that I could cry for you (I hate when stupid little things ruin experiences that should be absolutely wonderful), I can guarantee that a large percentage of those 500 friends will be more than happy to read and review no matter where you end up posting it. *blinks* You...you ARE planning to at least post it here or something, right???

Anyway, I hope something wonderful happens to you very soon! *snuggles you and disappears back into lurker-dom*
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: ASS: mangascoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, for both those thoughts. I guess I will post BB here (if I have the impetus to finish it), or maybe I'll email the mods and see if the rule is irreparably broken.

Anyway, I did get good news: my first choice of accomodation for next year. In a nice, QUIET place (should quiet be capslock? eh). So that's great!
sleepingfingers on January 21st, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC)
Since I'm one of those 200 people, I guess I should say "Hi!" too. :)

I love The Road Less Travelled, but I think I might like Three Steps Back even more. If you're measuring how big of a "hit" Three Steps Back is through the number of reviews, I think the decreasing number is mostly due to the waning interest in the ship. Back when you started posting TRLT, it was right after the 7th book, and loads of people turned to fics of their new-found ships. Now, only a fraction of the fans remain, so to speak, because AS/S isn't one of the "really big" ships in the fandom. I thought a lot of it was because of the hype.

But really, I adore Three Steps Back and can't wait to read each of the chapters. :)

It sucks about the Big Bang fic though. 47,000 words (good words, as yours must be) require an amount of dedication I can't even begin to imagine.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Cinderellascoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, I know this - now I'm back in my sane mind. =D Readership all over fandom has been falling off, and I'm lucking to get the following I do, to be quite honest. I'm still pretty much a lurker myself.

Thank you! Always good to hear. ♥

Eh, I had holidays. It's my idea of fun. I don't think I could replicate it again between here and the due date, that's all - I have so much on. *booface*
karadin on January 21st, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
Nope nope nope nope, it is nothing you are doing, there are trends in fandom like anything else, and sometime we catch the rise, really popularity has nothing to do with ability.

I've had the fandom fame, and gone without but I really focus on writing (drawing) what have you for myself, wherever the muse leads (even fuedal Japan) Achievment in fandom is nothing you can take to the bank, but you can sleep with a smile on your face with personal satisfaction, ne?
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: ASS: landscape scenescoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:42 pm (UTC)
you can sleep with a smile on your face with personal satisfaction, ne?

Oh, yes. I'd rather be the Ani di Franco than the Britney Spears of fandom. Still, sometimes the Britneys just get up my nose and I have to VENT, yanno?
omegarromegarr on January 21st, 2008 09:56 pm (UTC)
Pity about the fic, never happened to me personally (too lazy/busy to write) but can imagine how that would feel. To make you feel better though, i have to rewrite a 20 page long report, because i didnt use the right template... I laughed hysterically while i read the teacher's comments about f/e centering tables. >.>

About RLT, it wasnt really complete. You gave me a shock actually, when you stopped writing right when it was getting more interesting. Three steps back was really needed, just like DH needed an epilogue...maybe a bad example, but still.:P I love it so far (and will keep loving unless you break Albus' heart in the next chapter).

Cant relate to you on the whole lj-friending-drama, I use LJ exclusively for lurking, so my posting here should give you a real ego-booster. Feel special yet?;_;
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: SGA: spaceship+scoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:45 pm (UTC)
Ugh. That sounds like a nightmare. Fortunately for me medicine is pretty thin on the ol' written assignments.

Mmm, I'm bad at endings! Always have been. People tend to love even the worst stuff hugely - apart from the endings. Maybe it's that I don't want to leave the 'verse. Or something.

I do! Verr special. I think I need a badge.
one minute movie reviewsoneminutemovies on January 21st, 2008 09:58 pm (UTC)
Your writing is unique, and I think that may be why your claim to fame has not been as effortless as some people's. I think what you've achieved at this point may be different than many authors' 500+ friends-of list, as fans of your writing will not easily find other fiction a good substitute for yours.

I hope your extra specially good thing happens soon.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: SGA: Two of usscoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:49 pm (UTC)
Wow! That's a seriously lovely way of putting it. I think in the uniqueness there's a good quotient of bonkers-ness, but still. Thank you.

It did! I got my first choice, real nice accomodation confirmed. WHEE!
(Anonymous) on January 21st, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)
Not hitting the right note?! I literally have to CALM myself down before reading a new chapter of Three Steps Back. That's how excited I get.

When I picture Albus Severus or Scorpius, I only see them the way you've written them. If JKR were to write a (snort) sequel to the 7th book with all the epilogue kids in it, I'd be sitting there reading it thinking "Where the heck is Rambo?" and "Why on earth is Albus eating a brownie? Doesn't he know how much gluten there must be in it??"

So as lame as I may sound, please don't have second thoughts about the sequel. Reading each new chapter as it comes out has become one of the highlights of my weekend.

Also, you MUST post your Big Bang fic. :)
JRevalangui on January 22nd, 2008 12:31 am (UTC)
Oh, so it's not just me doing the "breathe, breathe" thing? XD.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on January 22nd, 2008 01:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
freddie_macfreddie_mac on January 21st, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
"I just know I'm not hitting the right note with the Three Steps Back."

huh -- I think you are. The tone is slightly different, but since you've moved forward 4yrs, then that's to be expected. I think this is moving along quite well, and look forward to the upcoming parts.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art thou a witch?scoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:53 pm (UTC)
BUT. The thing is, I didn't change the tone at all! Not on purpose! How did it change without my knowledge or consent?!

This means if it does go arseways I won't know what happened.

*curls up into a kitty ball*
(Deleted comment)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Audrey Hepburnscoradh on January 22nd, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
One thing I never did was switch journals, mainly because I really like my name. A firm grounding is probably a good idea - but what do I know? You'd need to talk to one of those phonenixi to find out about that. =D

Thank you very much! And if the BB ever does get finished, here is where it shall go.
(Deleted comment)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Blue parasolscoradh on January 22nd, 2008 07:00 pm (UTC)
Ha, better wait till it's finished to crystallise that opinion.

Of course I will. ♥
ex_ella_bane358 on January 22nd, 2008 12:10 am (UTC)
We must find artists to do art for your rule-breaking 47,000 h/d fic. I want to read yours so, so much.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: SGA: little team on the prairiescoradh on January 22nd, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC)
Chance'd be a fine thing! *amused* One thing I never attracted was an artistic following. Maybe because I have dial-up, and am so unable to contribute to artdom?
(Anonymous) on January 22nd, 2008 12:23 am (UTC)
personally, i'd still love to read your big bang fic, and I adore three steps back. i usually don't leave comments, because, I just usually end up saying. that was cool, and the ilk.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Death of Ratsscoradh on January 22nd, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
Still, better cool than the reverse! Thank you.
purelytaintedktpurelytaintedkt on January 22nd, 2008 12:23 am (UTC)
personally, i'd still love to read your big bang fic, and I adore three steps back. i usually don't leave comments, because, I just usually end up saying. that was cool, and the ilk.
JRevalangui on January 22nd, 2008 12:28 am (UTC)
You wrote "The Road Less Travelled" soon after the realise of DH, so naturally it was what everybody wanted to read, also, it was summer so at least some of your public had much more free time than now(also it was basically gen so genfic people and hetfic people could come over to read if their part of fandom wasn't providing post-epilogue fic fast enough). I have to admit that till now TSB is not as great as TRLT but it's far from bad and it's only been 3 chapters! I half want to know how many there's left and half don't because... well, it will end

Also, I'm, for one, glad you don't write porn, there's so much porn, porn can be found anywhere (more like everywhere) but writing like yours, stories and characters that just come alive like that? Girl, if anybody wants porn they can write fics for your fics, that way they won't mess up the rest of the story like 99% of people do.

Congrats on the 500, that's how you know that Big Bang or not you have more than a few people waiting to read that fic :)

Medicine sounds fun... from afar, that's it. Actually fainting is a bit too much even for my love of knowledge.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Audrey Hepburnscoradh on January 22nd, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure how many chapters there will be either - just that there will be more! I'm glad you said that; it spurs me on to do better.

Ha, fics for my fics! It sounds like something from 1001 Nights. I'm pretty sure Rambo's emigrated to some Spanish fic somewhere. Or was it Russian?

Hopefully, hopefully!

Yeah, it wasn't pleasant. There's been vomiting bugs going round - I hope that was my closest brush with them!
(no subject) - evalangui on January 24th, 2008 01:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
Shezanshezan on January 22nd, 2008 12:38 am (UTC)
Three Steps Back is lovely - just trust yourself and keep at it!!!

(And who cares about Phoenixes? Give me a nice chicken any time!)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Black Booksscoradh on January 22nd, 2008 07:49 pm (UTC)
Mmm, I love chicken. =D