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21 January 2008 @ 08:55 pm
drink tea. there's plenty of tea.  
Today was not such a terribly good day.

I saw a man so jaundiced he was actually the colour of a banana, which I'm sure wasn't good for him. (I also think he may have wet himself while I was examining him, but there are some things too TMI for even my pity-party brain to contemplate.)

Our official tutor returned from the South Pole - don't even ask - which means actual work from now on, as opposed to faffing around with consultants.

The smell in one surgical ward was bad enough to make me faint. Faint.

I discovered that my 47,000-word Big Bang fic - probably the best work I've ever done - breaks one of the most important rules of the fest and is thus inadmissable. This is what I get for latching on to an idea and letting it run away with me. I'm so disappointed I could actually cry.

Speaking of rules, breaking the 'no-sequels' one is a no-brainer. The Road Less Travelled was an unexpected hit. I just know I'm not hitting the right note with the Three Steps Back.

And today, my f-o list hit 500.

I should be happy about this, right? It's an achievement. But. It feels like I've clawed every achievement from fandom, with tearing and teeth and blood. Others have risen like phoenixes. (Phoenixi?) Easily. I realise this is due to my inability to write proper porn, and over the last six months I haven't had time to let it bother me, butbutbut.

I just feel like I want something good to happen - not just ordinary, 'finding twenty bucks and a free breakfast*' good, but really damn extra-special good.

Also, to those 200-odd people I don't know: hi!

* Dead Like Me, people. Yes.
 
 
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: work (jimmy eat world)
 
 
 
Meredythmeredyth_13 on January 22nd, 2008 01:28 am (UTC)
If you have a 47,000 word H/D fic floating around, I don't care what rules it breaks! It needs to be seen. Yes it does. :D And I'm enjoying Three Steps Back - it was a huge leap timewise to write a sequel, and inevitably hard for people to pick up again as teens change so much in those years they're practically new people - but you've kept the core of their personalities intact, and the rest we just have to learn, which is part of the fun.

*waves back as one of the many you probably don't really know*
ffahmed on January 22nd, 2008 02:22 am (UTC)
i agree, I hope that fic gets posted sometime, because I like all your work. My favorite is Clear As Mud which I could re-read all over. I suppose you like other stories better, but you captured my favorite h/d dynamic so well.
(no subject) - scoradh on January 22nd, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on January 22nd, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Margravine Palavar: transferring to Hogwartsmargravine on January 22nd, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
If it makes you feel any better, I am always excited when I see a new chapter of your latest. People are always going to need a Potter fix, and it will be there waiting for the ones who need a break after the last book.

I've not made any vow of fanfic celibacy though, and I believe that you are exceptional, so I'd sure be happy to read 47,000 words personally arranged by you. That really does suck that you can't use it for the intended purpose though. If you were that carried away by your idea it was probably for the best though.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Bellescoradh on January 22nd, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
It does make me feel better. Thank you.

I might try and get the mods to consider it. I'm not hopeful, though, and in that case I'll certainly post it here.
anabellhenryanabellhenry on January 22nd, 2008 02:44 am (UTC)
I discovered that my 47,000-word Big Bang fic - probably the best work I've ever done - breaks one of the most important rules of the fest and is thus inadmissable. This is what I get for latching on to an idea and letting it run away with me. I'm so disappointed I could actually cry.

I do understand how undone this has you, but I would say that with a flist of 500 and more of us singing your deserved praises daily, so what? It may be disqualified at Big Bang, but if it's as good as you think it is... oh lord, we'll be blown away and in the end, it won't matter *where* it was published.

Speaking of rules, breaking the 'no-sequels' one is a no-brainer. The Road Less Travelled was an unexpected hit. I just know I'm not hitting the right note with the Three Steps Back.

How so? I'm intensely curious... I will admit that it feels different than TRLT right up until the last TRLT which felt different that the other 9 parts. So, what I mean is... maybe it will hit the note you're looking for yet. Perhaps this is part of its character development, so to speak.

I truly understand about crappy days, so if you haven't the energy or desire to reply, please drink a glass of wine or take a long hot bath instead! That's an order, Doctor. ;-)

May tomorrow deliver that very special something.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
I know, but I was so looking forward to BB! It's such a big deal, you get artists to illustrate your work and also, I've participated the last two times. I thought it would be nice to round it off in the final fest.

See? I can't tell when my writing changes. I didn't think chapter 9 was different at all, but I read somewhere that a certain reader thought it was an awful let-down. And I just didn't understand why, because I didn't think it was all that bad.

I did IVs instead, they were much more fun! Thank you. ♥
(no subject) - anabellhenry on January 24th, 2008 04:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
bananaandpeelbananaandpeel on January 22nd, 2008 04:09 am (UTC)
ah shoot.
sorry about the big bang fic, which I have not read. And you may not know who the hell I am but uh, be cheered! please. You sound depressed. Have some coffee or something.

The road less traveled may have been brilliant like the sun, but so is three steps back, just in a less mild, more aching-teenager way. Which is perfectly reasonable, considering that the characters have aged. they're deeper now, anyway. And I still love them.

Dunno if I'm on your flist, but if I'm not I will be soon?
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
Re: ah shoot.
I don't drink coffee, but thanks for the suggestion.

Thank you! I'm going to try harder to bring TSB up to standard.

I think you are now! HI.
Daisy-chama: HP - Harry - Ron looks ridiculousdaisy_chan on January 22nd, 2008 04:16 am (UTC)
That icon is gorgeous.

It's a shame about your big bang fic, but hopefully you'll allow us to read it anyway? :o

every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Made by nqdonne and red_rahl's artwork. Feel free to gack and pimp our team!

Of course. =D
(no subject) - daisy_chan on January 23rd, 2008 08:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
kestrelsparhawk: perfect stormkestrelsparhawk on January 22nd, 2008 05:02 am (UTC)
Are there other fests it could be in?

I agree with EVERYONE above -- you actually brought me into liking Albus and Scorpius, and TRLT, as far as I'm concerned, is CANON. I also get excited every time you post a chapter ... and it's one of the few things I check for on my flist! (I read my f-list, but at a skim rate for most things.)

You've had a really lousy day. Things pile up on us on such days, and I know I often lose perspective on such days, and wonder -- not why I'm nobody in fandom, I know why -- but why people with extraordinarily mediocre writing get professionally published, and I probably won't.

Forget the tea, forget the coffee. Go straight to the hot chocolate, and splash a little rum or peppermint schnapps in it. Put up your feet, and read something fun. I rec anything by Diana Wynne Jones in the Chrestomanci world.
grey_hunter on January 22nd, 2008 11:23 am (UTC)
TRLT, as far as I'm concerned, is CANON

I second that! Well, except the part where Harry and Draco continue not to be an item... ;)
(no subject) - scoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kestrelsparhawk on January 24th, 2008 05:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on January 24th, 2008 08:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Lib: HPlibgirl on January 22nd, 2008 09:20 am (UTC)
Oooo, new fic is always good, you should definitely still post your Big Bang Challenge. I'm trying to do it this year, we'll see how well I do :/.

And, frankly, for me, it's the not the PWP or smut that makes me read something. In fact, I'll avoid something for those reasons. I want *good* fic with *good* characters and the rest of it is optional.

I do agree that isn't the opinion of all of fandom.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:23 pm (UTC)
*sigh* I'd swap your difficulty for mine.

I guess it's because that's a rare commodity that people's tastes are developed more in the PWP-line. Life, eh?
grey_hunter on January 22nd, 2008 11:20 am (UTC)
I discovered that my 47,000-word Big Bang fic - probably the best work I've ever done - breaks one of the most important rules of the fest and is thus inadmissable.

Which one? Perhaps you can work around it a little? Or submit it to another fest...

every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Blue haired boy w/ phonescoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:22 pm (UTC)
I did email the mods asking if they'd consider it, but as yet they haven't got back to me.
(no subject) - grey_hunter on January 23rd, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Pre-Op Cyborgagiel on January 22nd, 2008 02:34 pm (UTC)
Oooh, now I'm extra-specially interested in reading your would-be Big Bang fic.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Audrey Hepburnscoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
Because it's a rule-breaker? =D Hee.
(no subject) - agiel on January 23rd, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
betony11betony11 on January 22nd, 2008 03:00 pm (UTC)
I loved the Road Less Traveled and I love Three Steps Back. I hope it goes on forever. I'm glad you don't do porn because it is so very boring.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: An interview icon -- Harryscoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
It is when people are bad at it, or just use the same old tropes. Regardless, thank you!
(Deleted comment)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Because the Irish do it betterscoradh on January 22nd, 2008 08:05 pm (UTC)
Aw, love! You're too good to me.

A lot of babies do, actually. That's why they're stuck under polarised light for a while, to de-banana them. In Malaysia they actually stick them out under the sun for a while.
Amanuensis: not hetamanuensis1 on January 22nd, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
o_O What on earth makes the fic inadmissable? I'm dyin' to know!
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: SGA: Ronon facepalmsscoradh on January 22nd, 2008 08:03 pm (UTC)
The guidelines state that the fic needs to be 'Hogwarts-centric'. I don't know what way I read that the first time. The boys are Hogwarts-age, but not in Hogwarts. The major plot points revolved around my idea of what might have happened if more 'sensible' decisions had been made on some issues. One of these was Dumbledore deciding to close Hogwarts to safeguard the students from DE attack.

There's just no way to rejig it to put them in Hogwarts, blast it anyway.
Rosfoi_nefaste on January 22nd, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
Screw the porn - you're an amazing writer, you have wonderful plot, good characters, a grasp of grammar and punctuation, and I adore your writing.

If you want to post that Big Bang fic somewhere, I'm sure I'm not the only one that would love to read it. :)

And, on that note... if you're going to be drinking tea, I wish you lots and lots of pretty teacups. In cheerful colors.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 23rd, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
Ha, I think I fooled some people with the post title! The only caffeinated beverage I drink is BPM. I don't like hot drinks unless they're chocolate-based, either. So no tea for moi.

Teacups, on the other hand...
mizelissamizelissa on January 24th, 2008 12:33 am (UTC)
three steps
I read the prequel to this "the road less travelled" and loved it. Now I'm impatiently waiting for the next part of this. I REALLY hope we get to see Scorp. and Al. get it together. The characters are just fantastic. Esp. Rambo Dursley!!!! so funny.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on January 24th, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
Re: three steps
Why, thank you! It's good to know Rambo's popularity has not waned.
(Anonymous) on January 25th, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)
That sucks. But, speaking for myself, I can say that I'll read your new fic whether it ends up on Big Bang or not. I thought their rules were kind of confining in a lot of ways--it'll be interesting to see the results of all those rehashed cliches, some of which I don't have any desire to revisit. DH opened so many new avenues to explore--going back is fun, but I'd rather move on at this point.

I don't think you write bad porn. The porn in Interview with the Hero was good. I think you're just more of an acquired taste to fandom--your writing is unique. You're one of the few writers I check up on every week, hoping they've written something new.

And Three Steps Back is excellent!!! I can't wait for the next update.

So, um...don't doubt yourself. Also, med school sounds exhausting. I don't know how you have time for this stupid fandom anyway.