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21 January 2008 @ 08:55 pm
drink tea. there's plenty of tea.  
Today was not such a terribly good day.

I saw a man so jaundiced he was actually the colour of a banana, which I'm sure wasn't good for him. (I also think he may have wet himself while I was examining him, but there are some things too TMI for even my pity-party brain to contemplate.)

Our official tutor returned from the South Pole - don't even ask - which means actual work from now on, as opposed to faffing around with consultants.

The smell in one surgical ward was bad enough to make me faint. Faint.

I discovered that my 47,000-word Big Bang fic - probably the best work I've ever done - breaks one of the most important rules of the fest and is thus inadmissable. This is what I get for latching on to an idea and letting it run away with me. I'm so disappointed I could actually cry.

Speaking of rules, breaking the 'no-sequels' one is a no-brainer. The Road Less Travelled was an unexpected hit. I just know I'm not hitting the right note with the Three Steps Back.

And today, my f-o list hit 500.

I should be happy about this, right? It's an achievement. But. It feels like I've clawed every achievement from fandom, with tearing and teeth and blood. Others have risen like phoenixes. (Phoenixi?) Easily. I realise this is due to my inability to write proper porn, and over the last six months I haven't had time to let it bother me, butbutbut.

I just feel like I want something good to happen - not just ordinary, 'finding twenty bucks and a free breakfast*' good, but really damn extra-special good.

Also, to those 200-odd people I don't know: hi!

* Dead Like Me, people. Yes.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: work (jimmy eat world)
meddie_flowmeddie_flow on February 8th, 2008 07:16 pm (UTC)
Look, you're one of the best writers in this part of fandom. Forget about writing proper porn. Who said fanfiction was about having smex in it anyway? Yes, it adds to it, I know, but in the end, when you finish a story, it's not the sex you remember but the emotions, the conflicts, the way the characters grew and the dynamics between them changed. Good stories shake one's perceptions, and yours are strong enough to summon a whole universe and make it work while the boys are busy solving their problems in it somewhere. I never thought you had to fight tooth and nail over it. Your stories scream that you know what you're doing and that makes you rise quite a bit on my scale.

I'm sorry 'bout the Big Bang. I can't wait to read your story, even if I won't read it on the fancy and nicely-illustrated interface on the Big Bang site.

Oh, and hi :) I am one of the 200 people who know you and you don't know them.

I'm also anxiously awaiting an update to TSB :)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Beautiful human being/potatoscoradh on February 8th, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
Your stories scream that you know what you're doing and that makes you rise quite a bit on my scale.

That's kinda funny, because the total opposite is the truth. Still, as long as it sounds like I know what I'm doing...!

I might be able to slip it into Big Bang yet. The mods know me from way back when, which prolly helps. I just don't know if I have the energy left to devote to it, now.

Hi, and sorry! It may still be a while. I'm thinking the piece needs a serious overhaul to take it where I want it to go.