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03 May 2008 @ 04:38 pm
wildestranger says: heteronormativity makes us all queer  
Oh hey, here is a distressingly ubiquitous phrase in slash fanfic that I think should be BANNED FORTHWITH:

”So,” says X male character to his (male!) crush/boyfriend/lover/delete whichever makes you throw up less, “you love me. You want to marry me and have a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a Volvo.”

“Oh em gee YES,” says the lucky, lucky recipient of X’s affections.

DUDES. This PAINS me. Let’s even leave aside the fact that we’re writing about two guys getting together (Commitment-Phobic City) and just think what this exchange says about us. It says that WE all want this white picket existence, secretly, because it is almost invariably the way desire to commit, settle, establish a relationship or whatever is depicted.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure it’s not what I want. For one thing, my fence is going to have FUCKING GARGOYLES ON. We’re writers. We’re forging a brave new world, sort of. Is a little originality too much to ask for?

(‘So,’ says X, ‘you love me, but you still won’t wash your socks, or hold my hand in public, or take down that heinous poster of Jessica Alba, and your taste in carpets is abysmal.’
‘Pretty much,” says Y, “and, even though you love soaps and insist on revealing all the storylines you’ve got off the internet to anyone who will listen and lots who won’t, and you think that ‘joke’ you do with the carrot is hilarious, and I hate your hair, I love you too.’
‘We could think about maybe getting a joint account. Or putting a deposit on a house?’
‘Let’s maybe rent, and see how long I can go without killing you in your sleep, first.’
‘I thought you’d never ask.’)
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: magnolia (the hush sound)
Pimea Feenixdark0feenix on May 3rd, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
LOL. Word!
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: I'd tap that ♥scoradh on May 3rd, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
one minute movie reviewsoneminutemovies on May 3rd, 2008 03:50 pm (UTC)
Ick, what have you been reading?
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: CS + TAI: Gabehipsscoradh on May 3rd, 2008 06:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, this is a fairly common thread in all fandoms. Sometimes it's better disguised, but it's always there.
(Deleted comment)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Austen with a bookscoradh on May 3rd, 2008 06:37 pm (UTC)
*feels validated* Okay, I know there's a point to be made about the predominance of female writers in slash fandoms - whatever that's about, I don't even know - but. No matter how well the person writes the story up to that point, it always feels like they're inserting their own agenda with this scenario. And that's so not on, no matter what you're writing about.

Very Spice Girls, innit?
Loyaulte Me Lieshocolate on May 3rd, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
for the total win!

I have never, ever married my boys off - I scringe at the thought of handfatsings and misty eyed womenfolk - I admit it's a cop out that they are usually already living together, so they don't have to do more than enlarge one of the beds, but they carry on arguing over a take away and listening to the wireless in their pyjamas....
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Heart treescoradh on May 3rd, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)
But that's just it! Committment seems to equal marriage in so many people's (brainwashed) eyes. There are as many types of committment as there are people and relationships. Meaning about five, but whatever. Committment isn't a one-size fits all, it's a bespoke suit.
moocow: [BC] VICTORIOUS (all caps for emphasis)misconstrue on May 3rd, 2008 03:54 pm (UTC)
Those stories always make me feel awkward, like "yay, you get your happiness, but damn if that isn't the most depressing version of domestic bliss, ever." I do really enjoy your dialog a lot more though, if still incredibly eloquent and emotionally aware for two boys. :P
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: FOB: Pete the dinosaurscoradh on May 3rd, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
I do really enjoy your dialog a lot more though, if still incredibly eloquent and emotionally aware for two boys.

There's a point at which reality must be sacrificed for the narrative imperative. I think the crunch comes in picking the cut-off point, in terms of how real your story seems.

ceci n'est pas un pipe!
wildestranger on May 3rd, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
Few things enrage me more than happy ending=marriage and babies. Since we are engaged in the potentially subversive activity of writing homoerotic romance, let's get a bit further away from the unimaginative heteronormative ideals of badly written harlequins, shall we? Argh.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: FOB: Pete taken advantage ofscoradh on May 3rd, 2008 06:49 pm (UTC)
I'm not anti-marriage, but I am anti-what marriage does to people. One in two end in divorce. That says a lot, not about the institution, but about what people expect from it, the crazy ideals they build around it.

I say: look at a relationship and why it works. It's going to be specific. There will be some crossover with other relationships, but never 100%. Figure out what it means to be in a relationship right now with this person, and realise why it might not be forever or with someone else. If you can't do that, you shouldn't be in it. THAT IS A FUCKING HAPPY ENDING OK.

Brought to you from the land of frustration, particularly with friends' SO - further proof that no anger is pure.
karadin on May 3rd, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC)
In most of this fic, if they were writing a hetero couple this way I couldn't stand it. Who cares what sex the characters are in the pair, write about real people, not stereotypes.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: PATD: stoned Brendonscoradh on May 3rd, 2008 06:43 pm (UTC)
I read a dissertation once on 'why people slash.' I personally fall into the 'because it's hot, duh' category. However, there is a category for people who are looking for the standard, traditional, Mills and Boon romance - but well written and with boys! - that authors just won't write nowadays for fear of stoning. I think that category is whence this springs.
karadin on May 3rd, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
you could write something sweet and fluffy and romantic, but still have something new, like, the hot date is going to the raceway to test drive motorcycles or a trip to Morocco, sheesh.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Eddie Izzard: So ... yeahscoradh on May 3rd, 2008 09:43 pm (UTC)
As long as it's something the characters WOULD do. We've thought about them enough to imagine them into porny situations, this further step isn't that difficult!
Jax: anakin obi-wan elevatorimadra_blue on May 3rd, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)

I get so tired of the idea that a ship has to be true and ure love approved by Harlequin romances and a panel of Social Normalcy types. Just. What? No.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: PATD: Jwalk keyboardscoradh on May 3rd, 2008 09:51 pm (UTC)
I hate the idea of adapting everything to fit some imaginary mould. Like all those people on the wedding channel (MY FAVOURITE CHANNEL OH EM GEE), saying the equivalent of 'You make my world a happier place, I'm so lucky to have you,' even thought they're supposed to be writing their OWN, unique vows.

People suck!
mrsquizzical: boykissingmrsquizzical on May 3rd, 2008 09:37 pm (UTC)
there is the odd occasion when i think it i.c. but it's usually a plot/characterisation point - that this person is fighting against their 'programming' and/or struggling with family perceptions etc.

i don't mind them wanting to get a home together, especially if THAT is a characterisation point, too.

as a run of the mill thing it's just a bit lazy, isn't it?

every Starbucks should have a polar bear: MCR: does not want your babiesscoradh on May 3rd, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC)
I rarely see it in that context - I mean, if it FITS, fine. But usually the boys in question are just that - dopey boys. No more likely to want to tie themselves down than the average dopey boy. You usually need women for that, actually.

Totes lazy and show little insight into what you're writing about. BUZZZZZ SIMON COWELL.
mrsquizzical: mcrmrsquizzical on May 3rd, 2008 10:07 pm (UTC)

see, frank iero? is on the record as saying the most important thing to him is family and he wants to be just like his father and grandfather and look after a family etc etc etc

where as with most of the other boys it would be lazy to just cut and paste that to them.

(who is simon cowell?)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Blue haired boy w/ phonescoradh on May 3rd, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)
Aw, that's so cute. I don't understand the mindset at all, but it's cute.

OMG, Simon Cowell. He's a judge on the X factor and Britain's Got Talent. I'd advise youtubing him - he has to be seen to be believed.
mrsquizzical: patrickmrsquizzical on May 3rd, 2008 10:36 pm (UTC)
i've heard his name all the time, but not really clicked where he's from.
mrsquizzical: mcrmrsquizzical on May 3rd, 2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
also - frank got a photo of his grandfather tattooed on his arm! maybe they were an example of how good family can be rather than how bad?

mcmuffins_js: lemon readsmcmuffins_js on May 4th, 2008 12:31 am (UTC)
Oh, yes yes yes, I totally agree. Thanks for bringing it up!
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: MCR: Mikeyway's orgasm facescoradh on May 4th, 2008 11:38 am (UTC)
No problemo!
Emila-Wan Kenobiemila_wan on May 5th, 2008 01:38 am (UTC)
Too true! Good point.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: For the Roadscoradh on May 5th, 2008 11:44 am (UTC)
Je sais. :D