My thoughts ran as follows:
this is boring, it's just her vag, there is NOTHING HAPPENING
now it's like watching football - I don't understand it, but I feel the urge to clap! (and get weird looks from dad)
*tears up from the emotion of it all*
THERE IS A FACE BETWEEN HER LEGS. A FACE. BETWEEN HER LEGS. MUST. NOT. GIGGLE.
In slightly more coherent summary: giving birth is survivable, but it's clearly also where all horror movies were born. Between things spurting and gushing and oozing and small purple humans popping out of places that belong in porn ...
I'm also determined not to have an epidural. Those things (infants, you know) rip up your vagina and from basic observation and common sense, it has a lot to do with the way they come out. With an epidural, your legs are paralysed, so you're lying on your back. You wouldn't take a dump lying on your back, so why give birth that way? (And they are basically the same, for anyone who hasn't done it.)