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02 June 2009 @ 08:45 pm
needs icons NAOW  
Oh, INTERNET. I am ecstatic that you did not lie to me about Star Trek. (For anyone else who's wary, my summer viewing plans include Post Grad and the new Katherine Heigl movie. In view of that, if I can like Star Trek, anyone can.)

The weirdest thing about this film was the unwitting cultural appropriation I seem to have undergone. I watched half an episode each of the original Star Trek and of another series that wasn't Deep Space Nine (possibly it was The New Generation? But Kirk was in it, so how new is that?) and despite the diversion that was Ben&Jerry's Chocolate Fudge ice cream, I couldn't finish either. Yet, I knew that Spock's planet was destroyed and I yelped in glee when we met Uhura and Scotty (whose names I guessed) and McCoy and Sulu (whose names were familiar). I was very sad that there was no 'beam me up, Scotty'. Seriously, I'd love to know how I know all this.

Anyway, I was crying five minutes in (and my mom was laughing at me - we made a family event of it) and nearly clapped at the end. I wasn't the only one who dropped their hands after a second and made a 'What? I was just ... itching my palm. With my other palm' face. I laughed in nearly every scene. Fortunately there weren't too many smash-bang-wallop sequences - especially as they were WAY TOO LOUD; wince-inducingly loud.

As far as the plot goes, the Romulans’ plan was full of holes, but I feel it would make sense if it were elucidated more clearly. Like, how exactly is independence from the Federation going to stop a supernova eating your planet? If there was a reason for this - something like the cosmic bulldozers of the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - I would have been happy enough. Or something about how going through a black hole fries the logic receptors in your brain.

I don't think Jim's special talent was for starting fights so much as for managing to survive multiple choke-holds. I was impressed. Trust me as someone who's just finished forensic pathology, most people on having their carotids compressed like that would lose consciousness in seconds.

Uhura was sadly under-utilised, but then so were many of the side characters who probably got fairer screentime in the television show. I got annoyed at the miniskirts and at the three times motherhood was used as a pivotal reason for men doing anything. I really liked Spock's mom and how that played out - ESPECIALLY when he did NOT say 'Let's go back for her' or anything stupid and heroic. So my bid was on the Romulan mother. Why couldn't she have been Nero's sibling/parent/male lover/best friend/gender-switching pod partner? We've moved on from the motivations of 70s superheroes and villains; it would be nice if, sometimes, movies showed it.

Music was a bit crap. Sometime, somewhere, a big space opera film NEEDS to use OK Go's Invincible.

I was also too amused by the blatantly ripped-off parallels between the McShep and Kirk/Spock dynamics to be annoyed by it. I just LOVE origin stories, even when I barely know what they're the origin of. For some reason, it reminded me a lot of Night Watch (only with a baddie instead of a Sam Vimes).

And oh man, someone needs to link me to a canon primer pronto. I always thought that split-fingered salute was a KLINGON salute. In fact, jehnt (if you're not reading this, WHY NOT?) I challenge you to make me up a list of the best episodes in each series because judging from past experience, it takes a while for them to get into their stride and I would really like to watch more of it. Just, not the ones that make me X out halfway through.

And then I was inspired to commit not!fic. DON'T read this expecting anything other than movie canon and really lame interpretations of the characters. I just wanted to do something to balance all those tiny skirts. Among other things...

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I couldn't help myself! No doubt it is a travesty to put Spock in chucks.

Uhura insisted that ice cream didn't bite, but Spock remained to be convinced. Besides, she provided nothing but anecdotal evidence. Spock was going to remain on his guard in case his sugar cone sprouted teeth. Vanilla ice cream, with its bland and unprepossessing colour, looked deceptively innocent beside Uhura's bubblegum, mint and strawberry monstrosity. That was all the more reason to suspect it.

Of course, all this was nothing compared to when he tasted it.

And then I want the fic where Uhura and Spock have sex for the first time, and Uhura maybe isn't all that experienced because you don't get to be one of Starfleet's youngest xenolinguistics experts by partying non-stop like her roommate. So when Spock stands up afterwards and says, "I appreciate your participation," she thinks that's how all guys react. Spock is surprised when she doesn't seem interested in participating in intercourse with him a second time, because to use one of Jim's phrases, it was 'fucking awesome' and Spock has been finding it hard to concentrate on theoretical physics all day. So he confides in Jim, who laughs and laughs and laughs, and gives him a few choice lines. 'Hey sexy lady' doesn't seem to work any better, but Uhura can see he's on the right channel, it's just that his frequency is off. So she emails him an equation about deep space and the love of the universe and he gets it. And the next time, she says, "Thank you for your participation," and they participate all over again.

Or the one where Jim hears the girls on the bridge complaining about how they're still expected to wear skirts, however many thousands of years after suffrage, and even though they have the option of pants it's sort of looked down upon by their superiors. Uhura's one of them, and while Jim appreciates the way her endless legs look in Starfleet miniskirts, he also spies an opportunity to get on her good side - a side that, for Jim, is about two nanomillimetres in size. So he turns up the next day in the captain's chair, performing a routine of standard lolling followed by snapping his bare knees together that has Sulu in quiet hysterics. Spock just looks at him - right at the point where his boxers are peeping out under the skirt because man, they are seriously short - and says, "I believe it is standard for those donning such attire to first remove their bodily hair."
"I'm a rebel," says Jim airily.
Uhura either genuinely doesn't notice his new outfit or is very, very good at pretending not to, but Jim's pretty sure it's her doing when McCoy tumbles out of the transporter and stabs something in his neck. In a past life, Jim decides irritably, McCoy worked a guillotine.
"Well, you haven't got a temperature and your white cell count is normal," McCoy informs him.
"Wait, that was a thermometer? Ouch." Jim rubs his neck. McCoy's eyes flick down to the skirt, which is now crumpled around Jim's upper thighs. McCoy goes a bit pink.
"You look a bit flushed, doctor," says Jim sweetly. "How about I have a go sticking that thing in you?"
"What?" exclaims McCoy. Jim isn't sure why he sounds so shocked, or why Spock stares pointedly at his boxers again.
Next time, Jim thinks, I'm going to shave my legs.
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: invincible // ok go
Rosefourth_rose on June 2nd, 2009 08:44 pm (UTC)
*claps hands in glee and giggles*

Oh, please tell me you'll really start writing ST fic! Those snippets have me longing for more :)

As for episodes... for TOS, my absolute favourite is "The Trouble with Tribbles" (plus the DS9 ep "Trials and Tribble-ations" to go with it). It's more difficult with Next Gen, because I like that series a lot in general, but "Best of Both Worlds", "Redemption", or "Reunification" come to mind. For a bit of fun, go for any of the "Q" eps, they're all hilarious :)

Damn, I need a Star Trek icon...
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: halowrites: mirror comicscoradh on June 2nd, 2009 08:56 pm (UTC)
I would if I wasn't so terribly afraid of all the (millions and millions, about) of old-school ST fans who would come out of the woodwork to EAT ME. I've been pretty burned in bandom and that fandom is only three years old. ST is what, 30? NOT UNTIL I HAVE CANON, in other words!

Is Q the guy that appeared at the start of the first ep? I remember a guy who kept changing costumes (so slowly I actually thought he was hopping into and out of them on the spot while the camera man had a sandwhich instead of saying cut). Again, didn't finish it. I think I'm spoiled now because this film was so shiny and pretty and DUM-DUM-DUM.

SO DO I!!!
Rosefourth_rose on June 3rd, 2009 03:48 pm (UTC)
From what I hear (I'm not active in the ST fandom myself), there's been a huge influx of "new movie canon only" fans, so even if there is some grumbling among old school fen, I doubt you'd be in much danger ;) Besides, the movie went out of its way to establish that this was an alternate reality which has nothing to do with the events of the TV series, so I guess it should be safe to play with movie canon and nothing else, if one prefers that.

Yes, Q was in the NG pilot, but that pilot really sucks on the whole, so he's merely a shadow of his later self there. The later episodes featuring him are all among my personal favourites.

Oh, and I forgot: movie 8 (First Contact) is well worth checking out as well - it's the only ST movie before the recent one which one can enjoy as a really good Sci-Fi movie even if one has never heard of Star Trek before.
ravurianravurian on June 2nd, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC)
Re: Skirts (or Scants, which is the technical term) - even guys wear them occasionally in Trek. True story.

Also, your concerns are addressed in this fic, here:
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Fooish: rose handsscoradh on June 2nd, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
WRY IS SCANTS? Please don't tell me that's a special name for man-skirts, or I will be mad.

Oh boy, I like it! Except ... I have already set my face against pairings other than Spock/Uhura and Kirk/McCoy. It will take a few months at least to undo it, and that's the only fic I've read so far... RECS?
ravurian: hugh dancyravurian on June 2nd, 2009 11:34 pm (UTC)
NO, no, not a special name for man-skirts, but the name of the unisex uniform that Uhura commonly wears. Srsly. I know, right? Trek thinks of everything. LOL.

Recs, recs. I dunno. It only just occurred to me that there would be fic. Which is really bloody dumb. I mean, slash was invented by this fandom, LOL, and a load of the original fic'cers ended up writing the novelisations and so on, so. Anyway. If you find any, LMK.

In the meantime:

yahtzee63 has written a magnificent 3-part Spock/Uhura fic, the third part of which will be posted tomorrow.

ethrodemon has written a few trek things of late, the most recent of which is a slightly cracktastic Kirk/McCoy.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Audrey Hepburnscoradh on June 2nd, 2009 11:45 pm (UTC)
Ah, so she has a choice in wearing her skanty skant, and thus by this means furthering her plot to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! (I may be a little taken with Uhura).

It's weird, I'm almost reluctant to pop my ST cherry. I've started SO MANY new fandoms and it's always a scrabble at the start. I wish I could skip that bit. Also, I'm sure there's decades of slash about not-this-canon and I LIKE this canon.

But if I can man up enough to read them, YAY RECS! You are teh bomb. ♥
ravurian: insufferable british snobravurian on June 2nd, 2009 11:51 pm (UTC)
Also, also, wow, this: http://jmtorres.dreamwidth.org/tag/st:reboot


As for your cherry, LOL, you've popped it already! I did actually read your post, you know. You've sort of committed fic already...

I adored Spock/Uhura liek woah in that film. So unexpected, so awesome.

There's a great post here: http://liviapenn.livejournal.com/556613.html?format=light

And an interesting point here:

And. Gosh. I think I might be starting to edge towards involvement in this fandom? I mean, how weird. I've not been in a fandom for years. Erm. Hmmm. Huh.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Eddie Izzard: cake or death?scoradh on June 3rd, 2009 06:25 pm (UTC)
It's only not!fic! Shh, it doesn't count.

Wow, it's ... been a long time since I read meta. Or had cause to read meta. :O Bandom and Prince of Tennis didn't really bring on the debate like this. idek, I feel you couldn't just blithely write fic in ST unless you WANTED a load of people coming over and saying, "Um, no." Or maybe I'm wrong, but I did pick up that Trekkies aren't the friendliest of fans - maybe because they have literally generations of abuse behind them.

It reminded me, too, of how much I really REALLY REALLY needed them to not have the Uhura underwear scene in there. If you're only trying to titillate teenage boys, don't do it in Star Trek (or at least give her something nicer to wear than M&S matching sets >.>).

Man, I don't usually find myself too interested in het ships, but I ADORE SPOCK I WANT ONE, and Uhura and him just - melded. No other word.
ravurianravurian on June 3rd, 2009 11:04 pm (UTC)
Does the Uhura-underwear scene get any better if you realise that Kirk was in his pants for longer and with greater exposure for the entirety of it?
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: umbrellascoradh on June 4th, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
Hmm. I'm gonna go with No, because Kirk had a reason to be stripped down and Uhura didn't.
ravurianravurian on June 2nd, 2009 11:45 pm (UTC)
Also, check this out: http://giandujakiss.livejournal.com/808867.html. OT3 vid. Awesome.
peripatetic extemporizations: ST Cpt Fine hotasshatoyona on June 2nd, 2009 10:05 pm (UTC)
KIRK IN A SKIRT. You have made my day oh my god. :D
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Fashion: lift your hems from the grassscoradh on June 2nd, 2009 11:28 pm (UTC)
He also bottoms. TRUE STORY.
peripatetic extemporizations: ST Cpt Fine eyebrowhatoyona on June 3rd, 2009 04:59 am (UTC)
FOR REAL DUDE. I am so glad to hear that you agree with me on this. I read some Spock bottoming fic and I was like ...WOT? Does not compute. So! :)
Sereniaserenia on June 2nd, 2009 10:52 pm (UTC)
Your sort-of-fic there had me sniggering a lot!

This movie is still on my to-see list - hopefully I get an opportunity on Monday!
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: ra teapot and coloured cupsscoradh on June 2nd, 2009 11:29 pm (UTC)
Oh man, make the time! I am so far from a Trekkie it's unreal, and I loved this. (otoh, maybe that's why?)
jehnt: st - ds9 - as many lifetimes as it takesjehnt on June 2nd, 2009 11:44 pm (UTC)
possibly it was The New Generation?

NEXT Generation, Rach, NEXT. el oh el.

Also lol at live long and prosper being a KLINGON thing. NO NO NO. The thing Klingons do is pound their fist on their chest and say "Qapla'" which means "success!"

OH ALSO I TOTALLY ALREADY HAVE A "SHORTER DS9" LIST. I WILL POST IT IN MY ELJAY SOON, WITH VARIATIONS. Dunno about lists for other shows - though I'm working my way through TOS. I can probably think of some not-totally-craptastic episodes for TNG and VOY, and maybe a handful for ENT though it mostly sucked balls even more than TOS (which at least had the excuse that it was made in the goddamn 60s, and did more with women/minorities than any other show at the time, which is sad, but whatever! shows how far we've come in such a short time!). But also ALL the movies can be watched with no background of the series already. Just remember that odd-numbered movies and "Nemesis" tend to be lame, but even ones tend to rock (except "Nemesis"). But the even ones are still worth watching if you want to get some canon background (and going in order is good as they follow one another chronologically).

AWwwwwwwwwww Spock and Uhura! I must admit that I am not a big Spock/Uhura shipper due to the way I am just obsessed with Spock/McCoy, which is already hard when Spock/Kirk is SO OBVIOUS, but! But! Ice cream!

And the way I've always dealt with TOS's genderfail (other than, uh, remembering that it was actually radically progressive for its time) is to fanwank that after the Vulcans landed on earth, there was a huge traditional/religious backlash which threw culture back quite a bit, and by the time we get to the series Earth is only just recovering. BUT, that is just fanwank.

And, yeah, as someone else also pointed out, in TNG men wore the uniform skirts too until the uniform switched to pants-for-everyone. And in TOS some women wore the pants outfit rather than the skirts, though the alarmingly short skirt+shorts combo was the most often used.
jehnt: bones - angela - good on youjehnt on June 2nd, 2009 11:47 pm (UTC)

And also if you want to write fic but are concerned about canon details, you have several resources:
1) wikipedia
2) Memory Alpha, the overwhelmingly detailed Star Trek wiki
3) startrek.com
4) a flist with quite a few trekkies on it
5) MEEEEEEEEEE (I am watching TOS on dvd! soon I will know DETAILS even of that!)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Scene girls: Jac omg i can't believe i hscoradh on June 3rd, 2009 05:59 pm (UTC)

Oh man, tell me which eps are watchable in the first series, please. (Of course, you will have to watch the unwatchable ones first! Aha! My evil plan, it is revealed.)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: Bollywoodscoradh on June 3rd, 2009 06:05 pm (UTC)
NEW, NEXT, PSSH. One of them's HP, meh.

So the Klingons are Roman? Wahey! I want to know what they look like. Are they Wraith? (Because of ST, and because I feel uncomfortable reading fic as yet, I went back to reading SGA last night. And it was good.)

Man, that is - a lot of movies. Are they all feature length? Were they all released? Surely not.

I guess I speak from the POV of a n00b, but without any other background whatsoever, Spock/Uhura really JUMPED for me. It was very nicely done, I thought. And whether or not it was the intention, Kirk/McCoy was the slash pairing that really jumped. I would be way more interested in charting the star-destined friendship between Kirk and Spock and working through all the undoubted ~issues than just dumping them in bed together. I'm odd like that.

It's not even just the fact that they're miniskirts; my soul cries out at the fact that they are supremely unattractive. They do nothing for the poor girls wearing them, who, it has to be said, do not have the kind of thighs that would pass muster in the 21st century.

girl; obsessed: bandom - spencer b&wcomplications_g on June 4th, 2009 04:56 am (UTC)

I just really can't get into Star Trek. Not my thing at all.

So many people are leaving/getting bored with Bandom, it sucks.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Art: umbrellascoradh on June 4th, 2009 07:19 pm (UTC)
SEZ YOU WHO WAS BORED OF BANDOM TWO DAYS AGO. :DDD I'm not close to leaving, I just went through a rough patch there and this helped. The more I think about it, the less keen I am to participate in a fandom this established. At least I've won a tiny foothold in bandom in the last year.

C'MON, BBB IS ONLY DAYS AWAY! CHIN UP! (I hope I get my email soon D:)
girl; obsessed: bandom - ryan is a gay cowboycomplications_g on June 6th, 2009 06:52 am (UTC)
So not! ;)


tell me your heart doesn't race for a hurricanejocondite on June 4th, 2009 08:10 am (UTC)
Ahahaha, LOVE. Both the adorable little drawing and Kirk in a skirt. ♥♥♥
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: collapsingnight: getting nakedscoradh on June 5th, 2009 07:29 pm (UTC)
AW, thanks honey! You're the first person to mention the drawing, I think many were carried away by the idea of Jim in a mini. :D
Eli/Ellie/ellie_norellie_nor on June 5th, 2009 09:22 am (UTC)
oooh, I love that mini-skirt not!fic, with a blinding passion! XD
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: collapsingnight: couplescoradh on June 5th, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
In SF, your kink is okay! :DDD