every Starbucks should have a polar bear (scoradh) wrote,
every Starbucks should have a polar bear

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Real life sucks

My best friend's mother died today.

It was just about the start of the course when they found out she had kidney cancer, and they didn't expect it would be long. Mary's been amazingly fine about it. She is an extremely pragmatic person. I would be distraught, but then I am selfish and given to melodramatics.

It's just such a horrible time for it to happen, too. Obviously, having someone close to you die at any time of the year is traumatic. But when you're nineteen, and it's four days before Christmas and your mother's dead...that must hit really hard. Imagine Mary suffering through the Yuletide now, burying her mother in fact, no time to even deal with it before the 'first Christmas without my mother' hits them.

I imagine I'll be going to the removal tomorrow or the next day. I wouldn't think of not going, but I hate funerals with a passion. Removals are even worse. I think it's so grotesque, standing around staring at a corpse in an open coffin. But of course, it's important to people. Their last farewell.

The worst thing about it is that I'm sitting here eating chocolate and thinking about fanfiction. I feel so tremendously guilty that my life is going on as usual, but Mary's will  never be the same again. My mother and I, who'd been having the mummy and daddy of rows since Sunday, made up when I told her. It's stupid to argue when you think you could be dead, just like that.

Christmas is meant to be a time of, well, joy and happiness and good will amongst humankind. And people still die and still argue and are still unhappy. It's a sobering thought, and if Christ thought he was achieving anything by being born, I, for one, don't think he did.

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