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24 March 2010 @ 10:23 pm
'You could have at least shaved your feet'  


Aw man, this video made me sad. Because Johnny seemed sad. Sad Johnny is wrong. Remember when SGA fandom got together and sent Rodney McKay (what is his real name? Does it even matter?) a thousand postcards saying 'You're amazing'? I think we should do that for Johnny Weir. Only call it the Johnny Weir Needs a Hug Campaign.

Relatedly, getting a manicure with Johnny must be the best time ever.



1. Johnny finds a kitten in the street and adopts it but he has no idea how to look after it, it makes him sneeze and the shedding is ABOMINABLE. He brings it to practice dressed up in a little Russian hat and a pink cat-jacket. INTERLUDE WHERE THERE'S A REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR HIM HANGING OUT WITH EVAN. Then the kitten dies and Johnny's really sad and Evan walks in on him looking through the little drawer filled with all the ridic outfits Johnny bought for it online. And Johnny's like, "I never even named him." And Evan is like, "I thought his name was Sir Fluffball Pretty the Ninth," because honestly he DID think that, he could swear he even heard Johnny SAY that, and Johnny starts to smile and smile.

2. The one where Johnny either loses his shit and gives Evan a makeover, or teaches him to dance - ideally incorporating a pairs ice skating routine based on the ballet Giselle to make up for the fact that Evan moves in right angles. Or both.

3. JOHNNY IS A UNICORN. He is pure! He never has sex! I ... don't know what else but only pure girls with golden halters could tame unicorns. Maybe Evan starts using a different brand of fake tan with gold flakes in it and suddenly Johnny starts following him around with really big eyes into random places like the grocery shop and then getting annoyed that he's interrupted his Pilates to watch Evan buy whipped cream in a can. Evan has no idea what's going on either.

4. SKATE CAMP. I just made this up with my MIND, but maybe it's some crazy American thing where they all get pumped for the Olympics by going up a mountain and bathing in snowmelt streams and having comradely cocoa around a campfire. Johnny hates it but he's determined to medal (in 2014, this is) even if it means pretending to kowtow to the Federation. Evan's always at the head of the pack when they do stupid awful things like run through the forest risking their ankles at 6am I KNOW THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BUT I WANT A REASON FOR THEM TO SNEAK INTO EACH OTHER'S BUNKS AND FALL ASLEEP ON SOFAS WHILE OTHER PEOPLE WATCH AND COO AND LOL AT THEIR DENSENESS.

Okay done now.
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: (so i'll sit here) waiting // the like
 
 
 
Harry's complete lack of ducks: Johnny: swangoose 2014!!harriet_vane on March 24th, 2010 10:28 pm (UTC)
Champs camp is a real thing! Although I don't think it was quite like that. I am so glad I'm not the only one having crazy au ideas. I made the mistake of starting to write mine and now it's 6k but still.

I think ontd_skating is in fact sending Johnny flowers April first. Also Brian joubert, poor kid.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: jillicons: lobster bb!scoradh on March 24th, 2010 10:43 pm (UTC)
I have spent my life thus far having no idea what people do in bootcamps, and I hope to continue that way. That being said, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let ice skaters do anything that might injure their feet. But it's the idea that matters.

now it's 6k but still.

DUDE WHY DO YOU SAY THIS LIKE IT'S A BAD THING.

April Fool's? That's a bit mean! Unless it's his b-day. (I still have the most tenuous grasp on canon ... off to google Brian Joubert possibly for the third time...)

Edited at 2010-03-24 10:44 pm (UTC)
Harry's complete lack of ducks: Johnny: swanharriet_vane on March 24th, 2010 11:30 pm (UTC)
I feel like I've been told Champs Camp was more like "rah rah team America" for all the skaters. But I support ANY AND ALL STORIES where everyone knows they are in love except them. ALL STORIES.

Because it is 6k of total ridiculousness and I feel like at this point it's going to be at LEAST 20k. What is my life.

I don't know! I think that's the date, though. And it's not his birthday, so who knows, it's ontd.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: jillicons: i'm so high i could eat a stascoradh on March 25th, 2010 02:33 pm (UTC)
That sure sounds ... American. Although I'm sure all teams must have some morale building exercises. Through the miracle of gay sex if required. (Apparently, true story, the rate of unexpected pregnancies post-Olympics is skyhigh. Female athletes start eating normally again which releases them from hypogonadotrophic amenorrhoea ... I feel an MPREG story coming on.)

THIS IS NOTHING BUT \O/

Literally trying to provoke an 'ontd' reaction?
allyndra: Doctor Smugallyndra on March 24th, 2010 11:26 pm (UTC)
DAVID HEWLETT MATTERS TO MEEEEEE! (Hi, I'm Al, and I'm occasionally over-enthusiastic. About Rodney McKay, among other things.)

We should totally have a mass outpouring of appreciative cards for Johnny, though. I bet he'd love it.

I would read the hell out of any of these, but I am especially in favor of #2 and #4. *nodsnods*
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: jillicons: red hair flowersscoradh on March 25th, 2010 02:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's his name. It's been a while since I was properly into SGA.

That's just it, he's totally someone who would benefit because I don't think he feels the love as much as he should.
o hulloah!: tv; helllooooobogged on March 25th, 2010 12:59 am (UTC)
The Johnny is a unicorn thing is A-MAZ-ING and needs to happen. PLEASE? I am not even in the skating RPS fandom and I feel like I really need to read that.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: jillicons: japanese beautyscoradh on March 25th, 2010 02:35 pm (UTC)
... COME TO SKATING RPS AND MAYBE I WILL!
Zebruizebrui on March 25th, 2010 01:44 am (UTC)
Will read this in a few days when I stop being pissed at him for missing the World Championship.
Plushenko, Lambiel, Weir and Lysacek left poor Joubert all alone there X-(
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: jillicons: blue star handsscoradh on March 25th, 2010 02:36 pm (UTC)
Isn't he technically semi-retiring, though? (ALSO HI SKATING RPS-ER!) I watched Joubert's short programme and was highly entertained. I know nothing of the technical aspects but he can move that boday. &him;

MAYBE THEY WERE HAVING GROUP SEX AND COULDN'T GET AWAY?
Zebruizebrui on March 26th, 2010 12:47 am (UTC)
MAYBE THEY WERE HAVING GROUP SEX AND COULDN'T GET AWAY?

Ah, well, in that case they are definitely excused :)) *drifts away imagining this in detail*

a kid on the lookout for transcendenceextemporally on March 25th, 2010 04:03 am (UTC)
I would read the Johnny-is-a-unicorn fic so hard. *_____________*

(BEST THING: HIM NOT HAVING SEX IS CANON.)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: jillicons: japanese beautyscoradh on March 25th, 2010 02:41 pm (UTC)
And such a SHAME. Any man - or woman, I would! - with half a brain should want to hit that. ♥
a kid on the lookout for transcendenceextemporally on March 25th, 2010 02:42 pm (UTC)
I spent half my morning laughing guiltily at all the people on [Bad username: ontd_skating"] who were like, "Please let Johnny be bisexual... please let him be bisexual!"
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on March 25th, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC)
I think he's more like Maya's Draco - I will explain the reference; he was 'private list' sexual. 'Gay' would mean all men, 'straight' would mean all women, he wasn't interested in being so unselective, so he had a private list of people he would consider. I bet Johnny Weir does that. :D
a kid on the lookout for transcendenceextemporally on March 25th, 2010 02:50 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaha, dude, that is amazing. He probably does! He is anal about everything! Of course he would private list! :D

(I am watching the video in your post right now and he does seem a little sad. When was this filmed, again? Although it does feature him wearing a huge hat. I JUST LOVE HIM A LOT.)
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on March 25th, 2010 10:47 pm (UTC)
WHERE ARE THE BE GOOD JOHNNY WEIR VIDS? Youtube, but split in parts?
a kid on the lookout for transcendenceextemporally on March 26th, 2010 01:05 am (UTC)
I torrented them! But you can find them on ontd_skating, I think.
JRevalangui on March 25th, 2010 11:23 am (UTC)
You're right. He's so sad. It's criminal!

Is there any chance you might write any Johnny/Evan yoursel? You're all done with med school, right? I mean, it sounds from here like your life is less crazy now?
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on March 25th, 2010 02:42 pm (UTC)
He is amazing and thus deserves to be unsad. Warped logic but I don't care!

ALL DONE HAHAHAHA NO. I have two more weeks in rotation then a month of exams. MORE crazy, rather than less, I'm afraid. BUT HI ANOTHER RPS-ER!
JRevalangui on March 25th, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)
Not warped at all! It's perfectly karmic logic. Being amazing is totally a good action and should be rewarded by the universe.

MORE crazy? Is that even possible? You make me feel better about being unable to be interested in being anything more useful than English major (I won't feel that happy about it later, possibly, but I feel better *now*). Although you're right, free-time deprivation and extreme levels of stress do work well for you creativity-wise! Good luck on the exams :)

(Anonymous) on April 7th, 2010 02:28 pm (UTC)
oh god, I hate gynae surgery- you can't explain it in words, you just have to see it. And then you cannot forget it.

-anonmedic
xxx