Come to the dark side, oddishly and extemporally, we have
1D fandom needs a name. Or, well, it doesn't, but can it be something stupid like Directiondom?
This picture saved from Sugarscape as '1dGAY10louis.jpg'. Is Sugarscape employing fandomers or do we also grow in the wild?!
Point the second:
There are five dudes in 1D. There are also five SISTERS IN THE BENNET FAMILY OH YEAH I'M GOING THERE. I carefully worked this out when my phone died and I still had three walls to paint.
Harry is Jane. He's pretty and does a good impression of being sweet (I did say 'impression') and he is most likely to marry well, having taken care to fall in love with a man of good fortune.
Louis is Elizabeth. Mainly because Louis is my favourite, but also because he's the legit funniest guy there and, like Elizabeth, is basically a troll.
Zayn is Lydia. I can think of no one in this band more likely to fall for an officer in uniform with a dastardly reputation. Plus he has the eyelashes for a determined flirt capable of making himself and his family ridiculous.
Niall is Kitty, because he seems pretty willing to follow everyone's lead and laughs at pretty much anything. Seriously: watch any video, he's there giggling away. I don't know how to fit in his food preoccupation given that Austen rarely mentions food, but I can guarantee that Kitty!Niall would be first for seconds on the white soup.
Which leaves Liam as Mary. At first I felt bad about this because Mary comes across as the most boring Bennet sister, but she's conscientious and worries about propriety and is basically the World's First emo hipster kid (she just wants to play music, y'all, the minuet is so seventeenth century and she liked Handel before he was cool). So quite a good fit, in fact.
Now imagine Regency costumes instead of Hollister and Co. vomit AND WE'RE DONE.
Point the third:
I listened to The Film Programme podcast from the BBC today. It's wonderfully unspoilery but actors are unbelievably pretentious. Mark Walhberg was interviewed about his desire to re-make the Headhunters because he liked the first version so much. (Yeah ... NO.) Turns out he used to be a MODEL. Called MARKY-MARK. And I finally figured out the Marky-Mark reference from Clueless!
Only took seventeen years.