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25 September 2004 @ 05:52 pm
Have bazooka, will travel  

The stupidity of some people is immense...and vastly amusing.


<lj-cut text="There is no hope for humankind. I'm serious here.">


1) On the bus yesterday morning, there was a girl and a boy sitting behind me. They obviously knew each other from school, and were attending the College of Comm. I don’t think they knew each other THAT well, however, and also the girl was one step away from zombie-hood. Here’s why (oh, and imagine loud, noxious slurping noises as the girl masticates her chewing gum after every second word):


BOY: So, what are you doing at college?


GIRL: Oh, Business Studies. It’s really boring. I wish I’d done Beauty Therapy…they have such neat uniforms. [Because that is TEH BEST reason for choosing a course…the neat uniforms.]


Later on in the conversation…


BOY: Well, I wear contact lenses now.


GIRL: Oh, I remember you used to wear glasses!


ME: No shit, Sherlock…and considering the twelve-hour usage period, odds on he STILL DOES…


2) The olds in our class are so up themselves, they think they know everything. This would be okay if they did…but in fact they are even more ignorant than us. After our printing session on Wednesday (we’re split in two groups) one woman stalked in, looking at our pictures hung to dry. Remember these were made by rolling paint on glass, scratching out a design and pressing paper on it. The woman haughtily inquired, ‘Are these sgraffito?’…assuming, of course, that no one except her would know what that was, and moreover that we would be stunned by her gigantic knowledge.


In fact, sgraffito is produced by painting splotches of different colour, covering it with a thick layer of black crayon, and scratching out a design, so that the colour comes through.


Which made her look so totally intelligent.


3) Deirdre deserves a whole paragraph to herself. She only started today, apparently having been boozing at her sister’s wedding…since Tuesday. She’s so…strange! She answers all the teacher’s questions loudly, while the rest of us murmur or nod or make no response whatsoever, like NORMAL people. I don’t think she’s ever drawn in her life before…she wanted to know if some people were ‘natural-born artists’ like Michelangelo, or did they have to learn how to draw?


Michelangelo was a student in Ghirlandaio’s studio. I'd imagine, for about a decade. 


She also shared - at the top of her lungs - such gems of wisdom as ‘I guess you get better after practice’ [well, it’s taken me twelve years to sketch in a half-decent manner…so you’ll get it in two classes, no problem, and still have time for a dozen weddings] and ‘One line can make a load of difference’ [I have no words].


I know it’s bad to laugh at the misfortunate but…I’m still going to. Myself and Mary spent the day sniggering. At one point Deirdre got up and turned on the radio - fine, presumptuous, but fine - and when the news came on, coolly changed the station to a classical one.


I’m not so against classical music as I once would have been. However, although I regularly listen to an eclectic ‘Opera at the Movies’ CD I scrounged from somewhere I would not regard myself as a devotee in any way, and it is a rather esoteric interest. I have no doubt but that Deirdre hadn’t a clue either…merely notions of upperosity. To simply assume that everyone, in a room nearly full of teenagers, would be okay with listening to Russian chants, is, well...many things, and none of them flattering.


She will provide annoyance and amusement in equal measures, of this I am certain.


4) OT - Just caught a bit of ‘Friends’…and got thinking…does anyone else see the, uh, the *winces*…Joey/Chandler?


5) My great-aunt Ellen fancied herself sick today, so before going home my mother and I were obliged to call on her. I was treated to a discourse on the dangers of Amsterdam’s red-light district for young girls. I have been to Amsterdam (admittedly, I was eleven, and the tour bus driver wouldn’t GO into the red-light district because of me) and I have great respect for it, with its gay marriage and legalised weed and prostitute’s unions. It is one of the world’s most advanced countries. And where does she get off, asking me how much I weigh?!? Eleven stone is perfectly respectable for someone pushing six foot, but that is NOT A POLITE QUESTION! EVEN IF YOU ARE OLD AND BATSHIT!


6) Piano last night. Sigh to end all sighs. My teachers has decided to start a list of students in whom she has precipitated a nervous breakdown. One was added to her list last night, and she was trying to remember some of the others (yes, I did say 'some').


PEARL: Do you remember Mark Walsh?


ME: Vaguely, yeah.


PEARL: Did he strike you as a nutcase, or someone on the verge of mental breakdown?


ME: Uh...I didn't really think about him that much.


PEARL: Ah, you're useless. What are you talking for? Who asked you, anyway?


</lj-cut>


Now, </a></b></a>gabbysun expressed a polite and possibly insincere request to see some of my drawings. Well, you lucky person, I scanned them and here they are! And kisses, dahlink, for the photobucket link. Mainly fanart, to be honest, which I drew during Chemistry class (well, I obviously wasn't going to pay attention to Chemistry, was I?) on the back of my Biology notes. In my defence, at that point I hadn't been drawing regularly for quite some time, and it shows...bulbous noses and pouty lips run through these like amoebiod dysentry. (I, er, did happen to listen in Biology, as it was invariably disgusting.)


Have put behind lj-cuts, as hopefully this will mean viewing will be restricted to those pictures you'd like to see...


One: based on Maya's 'Underwater Light', which was the only thing keeping me sane in those dark days, it's after Draco has a bath in some chapter. L-R, Harry (and yes, he's meant to look dirty), Draco and Hermione.


<lj-cut text="After the Flood I mean Bath">



</lj-cut>


Two: Harry and Draco of the Long Neck. On the back of notes about Kreb's Cycle, I believe. Go Kreb!


<lj-cut text="I have a back problem...">



</lj-cut>


Three: I put some of these in Photo Editor before it decided to end my trial period...so I can't get rid of the stupid caption, even if I knew how to. Blaise and Pansy.


<lj-cut text="Pansy...I think I've broken something...">



</lj-cut>


Have a feeling I can't fit more...which is probably a good thing.

 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: 'Maryland', Vonda Shepherd
 
 
 
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on September 25th, 2004 10:22 am (UTC)
Sorry, people. No idea why the mother-f**king lj-cuts aren't working!!!
Gabbysun, help?!!?
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on September 25th, 2004 10:30 am (UTC)
Ah! The lj-cuts or lack thereof are driving me INSANE!!!
The Light Snarktasticsnarkophagus on September 25th, 2004 10:34 am (UTC)
Know any local serial killers?

If so, introduce him to Boy and Girl. You'll be doing the world a kindness. Really.

I'm jealous of your artistic ability. You must cease and desist at once. Because, of course, it's all about me. ;)
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on September 25th, 2004 12:48 pm (UTC)
Re: Know any local serial killers?
Well, I think I could forgive Boy...sort of, I mean blonde pretty stupid girls just attract boys like flies and it's kind of not their fault, even though I hate it (not being blonde or stupid or particularly pretty). But Girl, definitely.

Well, thanks! I'm glad the weirdy noses and bad scanning didn't put you off! :)
The Light Snarktasticsnarkophagus on September 25th, 2004 12:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Know any local serial killers?

For one, it's much better than I could accomplish. For two, I can actually identify your subjects without help. This means the noses must not be too weirdy. :) Is good. :)

If it were me, boy would have to buy his forgiveness. You can ignore this part. My mind has been in the gutter all day.
Re: Know any local serial killers? - scoradh on September 25th, 2004 01:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Know any local serial killers? - snarkophagus on September 25th, 2004 01:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Know any local serial killers? - scoradh on September 25th, 2004 02:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Know any local serial killers? - snarkophagus on September 25th, 2004 02:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Know any local serial killers? - scoradh on September 26th, 2004 10:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
high and mighty mansplaining robotrimestock on September 25th, 2004 10:55 am (UTC)
4. No no no! Not Joey/Chandler! Joey/Ross!

Can't you remember the scene with "playing cowboys and indians"?
high and mighty mansplaining robotrimestock on September 25th, 2004 10:55 am (UTC)
And thank you. So so much. Between you and paradoxicalme I managed to eat my last ten minutes of work.

*cries in joy that the long slow day is finally OVER*
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on September 25th, 2004 12:46 pm (UTC)
Pleasure to be of service!

Weeeell, I don't like Ross...and I'm not exactly what you'd call an avid watcher...there was just some part where Monica and Joey kissed (I don't know why) and she was like, 'Mmm, not so good,' and he was like, 'Well, CHANDLER liked it!' Besides, I always liked Chandler best and Monica's a bitch to him...
high and mighty mansplaining robotrimestock on September 26th, 2004 12:07 pm (UTC)
I see... and when you put it that way, perhaps I agree.

At least about liking Chandler best.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on September 26th, 2004 01:02 pm (UTC)
Squee! Chandler love.
(no subject) - rimestock on September 27th, 2004 11:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 27th, 2004 11:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 27th, 2004 12:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 27th, 2004 12:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 27th, 2004 12:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 27th, 2004 12:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 27th, 2004 12:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 27th, 2004 12:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 28th, 2004 11:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 29th, 2004 06:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 29th, 2004 12:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 29th, 2004 12:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 30th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 30th, 2004 02:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on October 1st, 2004 03:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on October 1st, 2004 08:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on October 2nd, 2004 01:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on October 2nd, 2004 06:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on October 3rd, 2004 10:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on October 3rd, 2004 10:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 30th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 30th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 30th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
gabbysun on September 25th, 2004 06:07 pm (UTC)
NOT TO FEAR; I AM HERE.
As far as I can figure, it's perfectly fine. Try reposting it, maybe? The coding is right.

2) Dude, how'd you guys react? MAKE FUN OF HER look at her funny? ;D Ignorant people give me hives.

YOUR PIANO TEACHER IS KINDA SCARING ME!? :(


DUDE I TOTALLY WAS SINCERE WHEN ASKING FOR YOUR SKETCHES. GEEZ.

Oy, awesome! I love how casual the poses are (and that's hard, I'm serious) and the folds. (See, my theory is, most people draw scantily-clad people because they cannot get their minds around cloth. BWAHA.)

No, but seriously. EXCELLENT. I love Pansy.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on September 26th, 2004 10:14 am (UTC)
Re: NOT TO FEAR; I AM HERE.
Oh, well, nobody seems to mind, so I'll just calm down now. xD

Well, I kind of smirked but that sort of thing is dangerous to do on a crowded bus...you never know how people might take it.

....sorry!

Pearl scares EVERYONE. This is why she keeps said list. :)

You might be right there. We will still have to be drawing naked people in our class after Halloween, when we start life drawing. That will be...mortifying. At the least. Especially seeing as the odds of us getting a Calvin Klein model in are bad to non-existant...

Am delighted you liked them, anyways! Drawing them was certainly preferable to learning titrations, lemme tell ya.
high and mighty mansplaining robotrimestock on September 27th, 2004 12:31 pm (UTC)
Re: NOT TO FEAR; I AM HERE.
Look at it this way: You're a chick, you can deal with drawing either guys or ugly old chicks, or WHATEVER.

Because you're brilliant like that.

And then there will be the young men, who will discover that "Life Drawing" means drawing skeezy old naked guys and old women with boobies down to their bellybuttons, and while you'll be nauseous perhaps, at least you'll manage to stick out the class.
Re: NOT TO FEAR; I AM HERE. - scoradh on September 28th, 2004 11:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: NOT TO FEAR; I AM HERE. - rimestock on September 29th, 2004 07:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: NOT TO FEAR; I AM HERE. - scoradh on September 29th, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 29th, 2004 12:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 30th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 30th, 2004 02:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on September 30th, 2004 02:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on October 1st, 2004 03:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on October 1st, 2004 08:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on October 2nd, 2004 01:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on October 2nd, 2004 06:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on October 3rd, 2004 10:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - rimestock on October 3rd, 2004 10:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 30th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 30th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on September 30th, 2004 12:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
henbock on September 28th, 2004 10:31 am (UTC)
spleen ventilation!!
ok i am going to be the only honest person here and not blow hot air up your ass i refuse to use "scoradh" as your name so i will use (real name). (real name) i bet your sorry you told me about the whole lj journal thaaaang so tough shit here it is you no your art is good than you wouldnt be applying to where youre applying to so stop being so bloody insecure and take your art by the balls and say its good. I dont want to be a bitch but i have to say it here cos you wont reply to my emails if you took yor laptop to college we could stay in contact here i am again venting my spleen sorry but i got paired up today with total smelly arse who had hoped hed get someone goodlooking and skinny well toughshit mister here i am his breath is as bad as hurleys nuf said
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: I want onescoradh on September 28th, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC)
Re: spleen ventilation!!
I am not insecure. I have a superiority complex, remember? It's just not polite to parade it about in public.

My art does not have balls, despite all Ellen's attempts to rectify this state of affairs.

I do reply to emails. Generally. LJ is just easier. Why don't you start writing in yours, hmm?

I will go off and read said email NOW.