every Starbucks should have a polar bear (scoradh) wrote,
every Starbucks should have a polar bear
scoradh

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A unicorn blowing freely in the breeze

I know it’s probably glaringly obvious to everyone, but….there is SO MUCH bad fan fiction out there! Not even bad in terms of grammar etc, but basic things like storyline and characterisation. Fine, all characters are going to be slightly OOC, that’s the nature of the thing, but to say ‘Draco Malfoy, now seventeen and stunningly gorgeous’ - I hit the back button straight off! Who the hell is ‘stunningly gorgeous’ when they are SEVENTEEN? I always imagined great beauty was something you grew into and matured with. If I had to describe Draco in complimentary terms, I’d say something like, ‘Although still bearing an unfortunate resemblance to the rat species, Draco’s face had matured somewhat as his nose caught up with his chin. He was now a little less than ‘of a pleasing countenance’, at least when he forgot to sneer.’


Describing anyone in HP as gorgeous is just plain stupid and a one-way ticket to Mary-Suedom. If you can’t spark a romance between two ordinary-looking people in your writing, damn me but if you shouldn’t be writing at all! Starting a fic by laying down your plot in one sentence: ‘Luna loved Harry, but she knew Ginny would go straight back to him if she ever broke up with Dean and Harry could have anyone he wanted - it was hopeless’ literally leaves you nothing to do but get them together in the most obvious way possible. I thought FA was great when I first found it, but really the only thing separating it from ff.net is overall better grammar. I suppose it’s because there’s no shortage of mediocre writers out there frothing to contribute their dross, while good writers are gold-dust in the Artic.


Oh, and transcribing WHOLE SONGS into the middle of your fic?


Just, no.


And don't get me STARTED on the formulaic smut that manifests itself in every second NC-17 title.


Perhaps I should write a guide.


I think I shall.


...


Sometimes I also wish I actually had something meaningful to contribute to the world.


There again, for the most part, the world ain't worthy of my attention.

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