I don't know, I really don't. I write safe, people want cutting-edge. I write cutting-edge (or what passes for cutting-edge with me, and which is in fact rather blunt and could probably be used for spreading butter and not much else) and people turn to safe. If only I knew what people wanted, I'd do it. And if they didn't change what they wanted from one freakin' second to the next. And if I had one single clue how to get inside someone else's head for even a fraction of a second.
I have no idea how people are gonna respond to our Big Bang fic. I'm still unsure about my own response to it. But, prettyart! After that, it's all grey. Good thing the future doesn't really exist, eh?
Anyway, I'm escaping back to my flat on Boxing Day. Up until then, I have to remain at home, with my relations. Oh, the horror. They manage to be batshit insane and deadly dull at the same time. A feat that's worth a song, surely. Probably a song in the vein of the lady lumps ditty, and we all know how I feel about that.
I'm not talking about my parents, who are lovely, or even my brother, who is growing tolerable -- I mean the rest of them. The Australians who feel the need to say 'Oh yeiah?' every five seconds in a conversation and which drives me completely mental, or the Irish ones who despise my mother for marrying a 'foreigner.'
I really don't like Christmas or birthdays. I don't believe in anything, and yeah, there's presents, but I've always been somewhat uncomfortable about people buying stuff for me. I'd much rather buy it for myself, and since I have money from working in the summer I've been doing just that. I asked my peeps to buy me the Blackadder boxset out of desperation, because Mum and Dad and Patrick have been hopelessly unsubtle about asking me what I wanted. I had to put them out of their misery.
What I want is to be grown-up, living on my own, with WIRELESS, and no decorations or trees or cribs or false sentiments of peace and goodwill. Decorations -- they're nice if done well, but why don't people beautify their houses the whole year round?
For what it's worth, Happy Hogswatch, guys. I'll see you on the other side.