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19 December 2005 @ 12:54 pm
Santa hats have replaced Jesus!  

I don't know, I really don't. I write safe, people want cutting-edge. I write cutting-edge (or what passes for cutting-edge with me, and which is in fact rather blunt and could probably be used for spreading butter and not much else) and people turn to safe. If only I knew what people wanted, I'd do it. And if they didn't change what they wanted from one freakin' second to the next. And if I had one single clue how to get inside someone else's head for even a fraction of a second.

I have no idea how people are gonna respond to our Big Bang fic. I'm still unsure about my own response to it. But, prettyart! After that, it's all grey. Good thing the future doesn't really exist, eh?

Anyway, I'm escaping back to my flat on Boxing Day. Up until then, I have to remain at home, with my relations. Oh, the horror. They manage to be batshit insane and deadly dull at the same time. A feat that's worth a song, surely. Probably a song in the vein of the lady lumps ditty, and we all know how I feel about that.

I'm not talking about my parents, who are lovely, or even my brother, who is growing tolerable -- I mean the rest of them. The Australians who feel the need to say 'Oh yeiah?' every five seconds in a conversation and which drives me completely mental, or the Irish ones who despise my mother for marrying a 'foreigner.'

I really don't like Christmas or birthdays. I don't believe in anything, and yeah, there's presents, but I've always been somewhat uncomfortable about people buying stuff for me. I'd much rather buy it for myself, and since I have money from working in the summer I've been doing just that. I asked my peeps to buy me the Blackadder boxset out of desperation, because Mum and Dad and Patrick have been hopelessly unsubtle about asking me what I wanted. I had to put them out of their misery.

What I want is to be grown-up, living on my own, with WIRELESS, and no decorations or trees or cribs or false sentiments of peace and goodwill. Decorations -- they're nice if done well, but why don't people beautify their houses the whole year round?

For what it's worth, Happy Hogswatch, guys. I'll see you on the other side.

Current Mood: exanimateexanimate
Current Music: 'No woman, no cry,' the Fugees
ex_ella_bane358 on December 19th, 2005 06:57 am (UTC)
I know I'll enjoy your Big Bang Fic. Alas, pretty art wasn't enough to draw me in this time.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: blah blah blahscoradh on December 26th, 2005 11:07 am (UTC)
Yes, but you're doing a big long R/D, right? That makes it all better again. xD
kabeyk on December 19th, 2005 07:22 am (UTC)
I know what I want: you, under my christmas tree, wearing nothing but a wisp of tinsel, heh. And as for the writing, don't worry about it; people always love the stuff you hate and hate the stuff you love. It's called sod's law, and it's certainly more reliable than religion.

Happy Hogswatch, m'dear, and maybe this year the Hogfather will remember that I'm a vegetarian.

3P_||_ <-- Dead two-legged reindeer.

every Starbucks should have a polar bear: orly? ya rlyscoradh on December 26th, 2005 11:29 am (UTC)
What colour tinsel? We have red and silver, but to be honest red is more my colour, yanno?

By the way, take this as a compliment, but I always visualise you as Dylan Moran.

That was random, yes.

You're a vegetarian too? Whoa. Talk about revelation month! :P

*sporfles herself to death*
Anansay: Solitaryanansay on December 19th, 2005 07:26 am (UTC)
Write what you want. Who cares what everybody else wants. If you please one, you displease another. It never works if you're looking to please other people. People come and go, but you'll be always by your own side. Write for you, or for ONE special person. If the others like it, fine. If they don't, oh well. When you write for yourself, or that ONE special person, all that love and care and want to please will come out and it'll be beautiful and rich and deep and perfect. But trying to please everybody and it becomes something thin and stretched and without substance.

Just some words for thought...
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: *begs*scoradh on December 26th, 2005 11:27 am (UTC)
I think I'll write just for me and the muse who squats in my head, like you say. You've got it spot on, m'dear. *hugs*
Anansay: Abstractanansay on December 26th, 2005 05:51 pm (UTC)
It's a rather freeing sensation to write just for oneself.

Sometimes I write with the thought that no one will ever see/read it. And then I decide whether or not I want to share it with people/the internet. And then I forget about waiting to see if people will read/like it.
Mind you, getting those lovely comments sure does give me a great smile. :)
Jaximadra_blue on December 19th, 2005 08:25 am (UTC)
I'm going to give you the best piece of advice anyone ever gave me: Write for you, and you alone. It only matters if you're happy about it. Get an opinion on your Big Bang, Baby fic. Seriously. I know it's hard to be positive about your work, especially if you're worried it will come off as arrogant, but you need to take a good long look at it, and see if it does what you wanted it to do. If it succeeds in that, the rest is all gravy. I know that's hard to believe sometimes, especially when we get tough betas (>.>) or nasty crit (and BOY could I show you links), and Jesus god do I know how it stings and humiliates, but don't worry about what the people want. I promise you, self-satisfaction is the key to life. I'm still striving for it, myself, and it's hard, but it's the journey that counts, I think.

And Happy Holidays, for what it counts. Your relatives sound much like mine. XD It will be okay, and you'll be a growneded-up lady soon enough.

*hugs and ♥ you*
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: 12 years oldscoradh on December 26th, 2005 11:21 am (UTC)
When I first read this, I was going to tell you: "But every time I finish a fic I look at it and go Bleh, what was I thinking? And then people like it, far more than I do in almost all cases, so it must be for them".

Then my springsmut fic grabbed me by the ears and I'm having so much fun, I think you must be right.

As for journeys, I love going in cars! I don't usually care much where I'm going, so long as I'm being driven. x

Yes! Back at me own flat now! Alone! Nice ...
one minute movie reviewsoneminutemovies on December 19th, 2005 11:42 am (UTC)
After your last Big Bang story, I have been trying to track down everything you've written, and I've liked it all. In my book, whichever way you're writing, you can do no wrong. I'm incredibly excited to hear about another Big Bang fic by you. Incredibly. Do not worry and have a good Christmas. :)
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Kittens cannot flyscoradh on December 26th, 2005 11:16 am (UTC)
Speaking of that, I'm starting work on a masterlist -- absolutely EVERYTHING in one lj entry. xD

I'm incredibly flattered! And my Christmas was good, in no little part thanks to fandom, which can make me laugh at myself.
moocowmisconstrue on December 19th, 2005 04:58 pm (UTC)
♥ we'll always like what you write, it just might take us a little longer to digest some things than others—and that's perfectly fine as well.
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: *is bored*scoradh on December 26th, 2005 11:15 am (UTC)
*grins* Are we talking about Gregory/Draco or italics here?
moocow: fashionably pink--alwaysmisconstrue on December 26th, 2005 01:46 pm (UTC)
>:P I can't remember any of your Gregory/Draco off-hand so I can't give an opinion on that but yes, the italics I will chin-up and slough through because by-golly, the fic is worth it!
Caitcoralia13 on December 19th, 2005 05:42 pm (UTC)
Sorry you're feeling low, or at least frustrated. I hope Christmas isn't too insufferable, and you can collect fun stories for me as a last resort, and I will certainly do the same for you. Currently, my main Christmas prep concern is making sure all the photos of our party last Friday are censored for family comsumption; I figure showing my grandfather - who already seems to think that I don't like boys - a picture of my suitemates making out with each other would be a recipe for disaster.

Oh, and way to go on transcribing Aussie-speak!
every Starbucks should have a polar bear: Boop!scoradh on December 26th, 2005 11:14 am (UTC)
Ah, sure, it wasn't! I got Blackadder, and a 100 euro voucher to Waterstones and another to a designer jewellery place that was actually my mother's, but she didn't want it. Still scrabbling to find some meaning in the whole process, but that can wait until next year, methinks!

But no, showing grandad that would really fox him, wouldn it? ;D

Cait: save the french hottiecoralia13 on December 26th, 2005 04:18 pm (UTC)
Sounds like you made out well. I'll be doing a post after all the relatives leave to fill you in (gratuitously) on the details of mine.
Until then, my love!
bat crime: let it snowiceetoile on December 20th, 2005 03:02 am (UTC)
is it really worth my saying Merry Christmas or would you just rather I didn't?

Good luck with your crazy family. They can't be all that bad, surely? It is the season to be jolly, after all...
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on December 26th, 2005 11:11 am (UTC)
Of course you can! Although it's Boxing Day now, o'course.

My uncle's an alco and my cousin's got undiagnosed ADHD. My aunt hates me and as for the rest ...

... much like the average family, prolly!
bat crimeiceetoile on December 28th, 2005 11:21 am (UTC)
well. Merry Christmas, then. Or, Happy New Year is maybe a little more suitable now.

As for the family: add in a psycho anorexic cat, two small boys (no extra adjectives needed, prolly cause they stole them all and shook them until they broke), and parents who only agree on how many times I should wash up a day (4. Like there's even enough for that), and you've got my Christmas. Screw the relatives, we've got craziness enough right here!