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17 February 2006 @ 09:17 am
Just a note on Big Bang  
Firstly, to say thank you to the people who reviewed on site, because I'm lazy and haven't the time to email them.

(Ooh, shiny new lj updating format! ... sorry)

So I've come to the sad conclusion that this story wasn't the best thing I ever wrote. Even at the time I knew this, but I suppose I was sort of hoping for some generic adulation anyway. A lot of people seem to get this even when they write utter shite, but I suppose it's just symptomatic of my life and the way I judge myself that when I write something below-par everyone else realises it too. I know there are some redeeming features in this, but all in all I guess ... I wasn't that inspired with it. There is nothing, really, that I want to say about H/D any longer. I remember at the time struggling to get the story going and not just let it expire in a puff of apathy, and of course furiosity spotted that. Damn, that girl is good.

That wasn't the point, though. The point is the end. Yes, Harry dies, as he most likely will die in canon if you ask most people. I mean, most people outside fandom, because in fandom he'll be recussitated and reincarnated and risen from the dead till kingdom come if he does bite the bullet. Yet ... I understand that the story itself isn't completely excellent, but why the focus on the end? Is it because I didn't warn for it? That didn't even cross my mind, you know? For me, that was the logical conclusion for this particular story. It'd be like warning for Cinderella losing her slipper or something. It's not like the OMG CHARACTER DEATH!! was the reason I wrote the story. It's bugging me that people are entirely forgetting about the rest of the story because of the end. Fair enough, the rest of the story is laboured and kind of plotless, but I have no problem with people saying that. (Sure, I'll cry and rage to my mother on the phone because everybody hates me ... but no problem.) I dunno. It's like having put hours of effort into a cake only to have people complain about it because it's got the wrong coloured sprinkles.

 
 
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: "Easily," Red Hot Chilli Peppers
 
 
 
miss j. ☆ミreceipt on February 17th, 2006 01:28 am (UTC)
OMG LJ CUT PROBLEMS
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 17th, 2006 01:29 am (UTC)
Fixed! Fixed! Sorry!
(no subject) - receipt on February 17th, 2006 01:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
Insufferable, man.: hpblasphemycynicalpirate on February 17th, 2006 01:43 am (UTC)
Coincidentally - or maybe it was sparked by the fic, I don't know - there's a poll on my f-list about character death, and whether one would read a fic if certain characters died, or if half of a pairing died, and if one should warn, and whether or not the fic would be OMG RUINED for you if a death did occur, and so on. I can't remember who posted it, and I haven't looked at the results, but anyway.

Personally, I wouldn't care if "rocks fell, and everyone died" if the story was well-written and believable. I'm not so attached to the characters that I'd criticise a fic for killing one of them off, and I certainly wouldn't want to be warned about it.

I don't know. Maybe some people wanted the whole, epic, tugging-at-the-heartstrings scene where Harry dies in Draco's arms kind of thing, but fjhfv, fandom is always fickle.

*pets* You should still be insanely proud of it, though.

Also, one person on my flist seems to love it, and that's almost entirely due to you and your fabulousness.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 20th, 2006 11:43 am (UTC)
I really don't like the whole idea of warning for a complete spoiler to the story. I mean, I don't think Louisa May Alcott was all, "Oh, Beth DIES DEAD, he he" when she published Little Women. It's meant to be interwoven, like it is in life, not something different and compartmentalised. Grr, I hate that!

Who is it? I must know!
(no subject) - cynicalpirate on February 20th, 2006 02:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
Re: whoa, also - scoradh on February 20th, 2006 11:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: the following comment is generally pointless. - scoradh on February 20th, 2006 12:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 20th, 2006 12:00 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure I have nothing to say on H/D full stop. I think I have nothing to say about them in this particular point in their lives. All the time I was writing it I was thinking Oh god, the bloody Horcruxes, shite. That doesn't interest me. JK's epic tale and her morals and whatever DON'T INTEREST ME. I look around at people who want a story and I think, I don't. Relationships are as interesting as anything will get for me. I think this is directly because they're a part of my life that's swathed in mystery and agony. Perhaps for people to whom it comes a little easier and more normally, they find they need more to a story. I don't. So it's AU and post-Hogwarts all the way, thankee.

After the few days since you posted it, I've realised that you're absolutely correct. I think Harry should die because in reality, where things happen that don't make sense and are essentially patternless, he would. But JK's isn't the real world, it sets out to prove a point -- so he never will. He'll marry Ginny and have the endless babiez, as f said. ♥
not your typical annihilatrixfuriosity on February 17th, 2006 02:11 am (UTC)
I didn't think it was below par at all. It does meander in places and it lacks focus in others but that's a big part of the reason I like your writing so much: you illuminate things that would normally pass by a reader's radar. I tend to appreciate that, for one. Plus you get H/D and it shows. I'll take a story by you over a gratuitous smutfest any day, even if all that happens in your story is that Draco and Harry argue over which brand of tinned peaches to purchase.

I don't think Harry will die in canon but I don't think it's fair that people should whine about his death in your fic. It's entirely possible that he'll die, sacrifice himself for the good of wizardkind the way that his mother sacrificed herself back in her day. I did see the polls linked from the dailies yesterday and immediately thought of your fic. I suppose I hate it in general when people whine about how other people's stories turn out. If they don't like it, they can bloody well write their own. =;

There is nothing, really, that I want to say about H/D any longer.
Yeahhh I know what you mean. -_-
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 20th, 2006 11:49 am (UTC)
I'll take a story by you over a gratuitous smutfest any day, even if all that happens in your story is that Draco and Harry argue over which brand of tinned peaches to purchase.

That's touching and not a little amusing, given that I always thought you didn't care much for my fic at all!

Yes, I tend to agree with lunacy's point re Harry's death, but he is gonna die eventually. And I think the tide has turned a little -- people reviewing lately seem to find it okay.

That's why I'm writing AU, heh.
(no subject) - furiosity on February 20th, 2006 11:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
Gin: only time can tellbackinblack on February 17th, 2006 02:40 am (UTC)
I think your writing, and cynicalpirate as well though I don't know them so I focus on you, is absolutely wonderful. Obviously it is not perfect, and it is always debatable if the thing you just slaved away on for what felt like years is "the best thing" you've done. Nothing ever is. That's the point. You keep writing, and as you write you try and fool yourself with all kind of bullshit like "this is worth my time," "I don't have better things to be doing, honestly," "I am talented really" and "people will lap this up" and "there's porn, there's porn, someone will read it for the porn!!!!!" Uh, you know what I mean. You kid yourself into thinking it is better than it is, even if the fic in all actuality kicks ass.

The fic was slow in parts. You guys made up for it for little bits of characterization or description or references -- humor, reflection, whatever. The point is, even when I noticed it was dragging I did not care. Mark of excellent writing. Writing that will improve with time because for fuck's sake you're only a year older than me and I still want to have your children. They will be speccy and go to medical school, only to drop out after a year and two days in order to join an emo band called Spunkz.

The ending, though. I think what made me comment on the ending in the thing I said to you over on my LJ was that I'd just read, what, 3 of the other fics... and okay, this is a spoiler for those, but PEOPLE TOTALLY DIE IN UNSATISFACTORY WAYS, MAN!!!!!!! I do not... mind... character death. If there is a reason for it, or whatever. But sometimes it is very tackily used as a plot device and you picture the author sitting there holding up signs that say "CRY NOW, WORTHLESS SHEEP!!!" (That author Cinnamons or whatever, she's talented as fuck, but I think her brain would explode if she didn't off one or two of her characters by a fic's end). So essentially, I can't speak for others, but if they read all of the fics in order like I did, by the time they got around to Camelot they were like "-.- oh great -.- more death -.- I must go to bed and cry myself to sleep and think about the use of Time Turners." ... Maybe that's just me, though.

H/D is pretty dead, too. Not to be insulting or anything, I mean this sincerely and kindly and stuff, but yours and one other I read out of the 5 were the only ones I would ordinarily give a shit about. The last one I read was the literary equivalent of thumbscrews. Claustrophobic and not subtle and absolutely trying to choke the readers with atmosphere.

But you, m'dears, absolutely did not have that problem.
not your typical annihilatrix: Pansy: What would Pansy do?furiosity on February 17th, 2006 03:02 am (UTC)
PEOPLE TOTALLY DIE IN UNSATISFACTORY WAYS, MAN!!!!!!!
That made me laugh kind of a lot, because it's capslocked and jumped out at me. XD Death in general tends to be very unsatisfactory, especially if the person who dies is someone you cared about. ^_^ In fact, 'satisfactory' is probably the last word I'd use to describe death. Though I suppose I'd feel differently if someone I really disliked chose to die, instead of someone I adore, like it usually happens -_-;

I do admit I'm curious if you found any of the deaths in my and imadra_blue's fic (since you said you read the fics in order) unsatisfactory in *that* way, since we actually were attempting to avoid tear-jerking of any kind. So if you felt like there were signs being held up at any point to cue crying, that'll be your personal reaction rather than our intention. We were far more interested in shock value and raised eyebrows, what with all the scattered entrails and pet crackpot theories. >.>
(no subject) - backinblack on February 17th, 2006 03:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - furiosity on February 17th, 2006 04:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - backinblack on February 17th, 2006 03:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - erisfics on February 19th, 2006 03:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 20th, 2006 11:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
wildestranger on February 17th, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
Hello! *waves*

Incidentally, I tried commenting on the fic on site, and it pretended to take my comment and then didn't. This happened with several of the fics and in the end I gave up. Just so you know there's a problem with leaving feedback. ;)
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 20th, 2006 11:55 am (UTC)
Yes, I think that's being sorted? Anyway, I'm pretty much convinced that you liked it, so thank you.
Elsie: alice oppselsie on February 17th, 2006 05:11 am (UTC)
Why did I click on that cut? I hadn't finished the story yet. It's eight in the fucking morning and I've had eight hours of sleep over the last two nights, the word "spoilers" didn't really register. :( *sigh*

OH WELL.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 20th, 2006 11:45 am (UTC)
Silly billy!
i'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly: HP - Mentaltakewing on February 17th, 2006 08:17 am (UTC)
Now, I've had a nice 12 or so hours for everything to sink in properly, so.

Sure, there were bits and pieces that didn't fit together perfectly and what not, but me? Personally, I was thrilled like... the entire time while I was reading it. I've read fic in bed before. Sometimes when I do it, I end up falling asleep over my lap top, but this did not happen with yours. I don't know what that says, if anything, but damn it, I was TIRED yesterday, and apparently it was good enough to keep me awake. This may not sound like a compliment, but it is, because I've fallen asleep to things like a Linkin Park album playing really loud and people chain-sawing things outside the house and a number of engaging books, as well.

So, basically, I loved it. No lie. This is one person speaking, but I saw and read the other reviews, and even though some people were sort of, I don't know, disappointed (?) with the end or whatever, they did like it quite a lot, I can tell.

And maybe since they'd just READ the end, that's why it stuck out so much? I know that was the case with me (and usually is). The end is the last say, and when the last say is something as heartbreaking (and it was, God it was), people are going to be stuck on it.

And once again I wonder if I'm making any sense. Anyway... people loved it, and I doubt (thought they could always prove me wrong by saying something like, "you're WRONG!!!") that they're forgetting everything else because of the end. The end wouldn't have been so heartbreaking if it weren't for everything else. You can't cry over the ending if you hadn't seen everything else, you know? That's what makes a bittersweet story.

every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 20th, 2006 12:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, thank you. I guess I'm in such a semi-permanent fug of self-loathing and self-pity that I can't see anything but the bad. And you went to the effort of telling me that you didn't fall asleep over it ... it's the little things like that that would make all the difference if I let them.

Much, much appreciated.
patron saint of the mediocre: maliekai; open avenues; booksthrupenny on February 17th, 2006 11:09 am (UTC)
Hmm, see this is partly why I didn't want to leave a proper comment straight away. I was still reeling from the end but I had more to say - and the story deserved more of a response than 'omgwtf you killed Harry!' But I agree with people above that the reviewers did like the story, they were probably just a bit shell-shocked to express it properly. God knows I've left comments I look back on and cringe about how clumsy they sound.

I have little time for feedback which basically amounts to 'you didn't write this story how I wanted' because wtf is that? Totally not the author's problem. I'm afraid HP fandom is incapable of dealing with character death in fic (or canon, actually) in a reasonable way. I thought it was a good ending; incredibly sad, yeah, but right and fitting and above all, not mawkish. It was subtle too, which is something people don't always get straight away.

It's like having put hours of effort into a cake only to have people complain about it because it's got the wrong coloured sprinkles.


That happened to me, only it was my boyfriend bitching about the icing on his birthday cake. Sympathies, chérie.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 19th, 2006 01:41 pm (UTC)
♥ Honestly, so few people make good on their promises to leave more review that I don't mind; it's really enough, especially in this case, for you to have read and liked it and let me know.

Boyfriends are never satisfied, are they? Did he not appreciate the fact that you baked in the first place?
(no subject) - thrupenny on February 19th, 2006 01:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
kabeyk on February 17th, 2006 12:04 pm (UTC)
I want all the orange sprinkles picked out because they're yucky.

I spent most of yesterday reading the fic when I should have been writing, mainly because I couldn't stop reading. I also couldn't for the life of me work out how to review on the site - do you have to join and log in or what? - and I've been wondering where to leave a review for both of you. Any ideas?

I think with something like this, with several long fics being unveiled on the same day, it's going to take a while for the adulation to really pick up. Took me a while to read just the one. (What you should have done was call the fic 'AAAhh', thereby making sure it would be first alphabetically.) In the meantime, will you settle for some licking from me, because I really liked it.

Strangely, character death never bothers me, so long as I spoil myself for it before I start, which I did, heh. But yes, some people won't hold with it, and that's their problem and not yours. I think more people would have complained if you'd filled the fic with WHACKING GREAT OBVIOUS OMENS OF IMPENDING DOOM, because then it would have been shite.

kxx
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 19th, 2006 01:40 pm (UTC)
There is something icky about orange sprinkles, it can't be denied.

Licking from you is always something to look forward to. For some reason that conversation you had with lunacy over commenting made me laugh for ages.

Very twisted, am I.
(no subject) - kabeyk on February 19th, 2006 02:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
moocow: yeats is never happymisconstrue on February 17th, 2006 05:09 pm (UTC)
I really hate that you are beating yourself up over this because quite frankly: I don't see why.

Character death is never an easy thing to deal with, but it's not like people don't die. Dying is a natural thing and being the protagonist doesn't magically grant you immortality (although your fans will doubtless argue otherwise, but it's more of a metaphysical immortality). So while I did not FOCUS ON IT OBSESSIVELY (the goth phase was at least 5 years ago, all right?) that doesn't mean I entirely discounted the possibility of it happening, and it's not as if it should askdl;fkdalsjf I don't know. I don't see why you've got to warn for that. The shower sex however ... :P Am only kidding miss, but mmm imagery. Makes me think of that Dave Matthews Band song wherein he says "lift up your skirt and show the world to me," except for the whole skirt thing. :>

Darling, it did not feel ridiculously contrived. Perhaps I am prejudiced by the seriously wretched romance novel I just read (you know it's bad when I'm skimming the porn as well) but in all honesty, I don't think so. You have a spark to your writing and a way of making even the boring little things become bigger, longer and more exciting with your quipps and words. If we distilled the premise down to its bare bones perhaps you could argue it wasn't super original but, how many plots are there? I'm talking global plots here, not just fandom plots: not that many. You took something that has perhaps been taken before but you made it different. I mean, the whole interrelations of ... oh say, everyone? That totally made me think of the family tree that JKR has drawn up wherein apparently it is true. (Pureblood, another way of saying inbred!)

And your characters, they are forever amazing and amusing. Even the repulsive or intentionally repungent get a spot of love in my heart. And, as someone who just got flack for cutting off the tops of cupcakes before rounding them (I could have SWORN I saw my mum doing it once) I feel the pain of mis-colored sprinkles. Some people don't appreciate what they've got, even if what they've got is pretty friggin' amazing.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 19th, 2006 01:38 pm (UTC)
I wanted to say thank you for all you've said. I'm not up to much more right now, but ... thank you. And thank you.
shaggytwigged on February 17th, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
A lot of *any* fandom will never be satisfied with anything but a happy OTP ending. Your story gutted me, but I loved it. <333
shaggytwigged on February 17th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC)
And I just came across this post, which I think you'll be interested in, if the artist hasn't already contacted you about it. :)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 19th, 2006 01:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 19th, 2006 01:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
one minute movie reviewsoneminutemovies on February 18th, 2006 01:56 pm (UTC)
I loved it so much! Nobody but you can do humor and angst in the same story so well. I thought the plot was great and especially loved Draco among the Muggles. Your stories always seem to have an added sense of realism because the details are so good, and the characterisations are so believable. Thanks for putting so much time and work on this. It's great.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 19th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much; I'm glad you enjoyed it. ♥
(no subject) - scoradh on February 20th, 2006 12:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - oneminutemovies on February 20th, 2006 06:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - scoradh on February 21st, 2006 12:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
mad_martha on February 18th, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC)
Hello! *waves* I was just furtively wandering through your journal in a harmlessly lurkerish way when i saw this and felt compelled to respond.

I've only just started reading this story and it'll probably take me while to finish it, but I just thought I'd mention that you are one of a very, very small number of authors whose stories I'll read regardless of pairing or just about anything else. The character death has not put me off.

And I'd just like to say this: You are a good writer. You are the kind of writer who makes me want to give up writing because I know I can never write as well as you. Everything of yours that I've read so far has been excellent and I have every confidence that this story will be too.
every Starbucks should have a polar bearscoradh on February 19th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
And I'd just like to say this: You are a good writer. You are the kind of writer who makes me want to give up writing because I know I can never write as well as you. Everything of yours that I've read so far has been excellent and I have every confidence that this story will be too.

Wah! *clingsto*

I think, if only I could believe it when people said things like that, my life would be smooth and easy. Or smoother and easier, at the very least. ♥