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24 June 2005 @ 12:03 am
So that's why they call it the blues  
-- I am clearly missing something vital about fandom, much akin to the way the Evening Standard describes Candace Bushnell as 'some sort of genius' on the front cover of Trading Up while I boggle. I read Candace Bushnell and think three things:
1) Too many semi-colons. Please to utilise the full stop occasionally, it's feeling lonely.
2) Too many ellipses. Ending every single paragraph with them, not to mention half the dialogue, just looks sloppy to me.
3)  Pointless, pointless, pointless, and also, how dare they compare this half-baked tripe to Jane Austen?

But obviously I'm out of the loop, because obviously there's some key element that I am just too damn stupid to comprehend. The same goes for fandom. People must be lying when they say my stories are good, enjoyable, well-written, because there are people with the descriptive talents, imho, of a boot, who get so much more attention and acclaim. It can't be them, it  must be me. Thousands of people can't be wrong. So either people should stop lying to me, or I should get the hell out of here before my heart breaks entirely.

-- I hate living at home full-time. I feel so trapped. I suppose it's because I had so much more freedom at college -- no, not for parties and casual sex, but just being able to walk to the shops and buy something I wanted to eat, catch a bus into town to go to the movies or shops, and broadband. Organising a visit to an internet cafe in a town ten minutes away, to set up wireless so I can actually download anything, is a Gargantuan effort. I can understand my mother not understanding why dl manga is so important to me, but she likes pottering around at home and hates going anywhere, so I have to negotiate just to get out of the damn house and it's killing me.

-- And none of this is depression. Where before I thought that my inherent failure at fandom (and life) provoked in me deep sadness, it's actually not. What it is is rage. My hatred is endless, limitless and boundaryless. I hate, I hate, I hate.
Current Location: Hell
Current Mood: infuriatedinfuriated
Current Music: Wait (Get Set Go)